Fall For You

Chapter 023

Hindi ko alam kung anong gagawin ko. Ang sakit sakit. Hindi ko alam kung pano patahanin ang sarili ko.. ang pag-iyak ko.. kung pano mawala yung kirot sa dibdib ko.. kung pano kakalimutan yung ginawa niya saken kanina.

“Ang.. tanga-tanga ko..*hikbi*.. ang tanga-tanga ko talaga…”

I can’t believe that I did all of that para lang maging ganito. I’m so stupid. Napaka-ambisyosa ko eh. Simula’t sapul, mali na. Simula’t sapul, alam ko na sa kaloob-looban ko that Rhys is playing games on me.

“Tanga ka talaga Yana..” Hindi ko alam kung anong gagawin ko. My tears just kept flowing from my eyes. Ni wala na akong clear na nakikita. My vision was blurry. Pakiramdam ko, bumaha yung mundo sa mata ko. I couldn’t breathe. Naninikip ang dibdib ko. My hands were trembling. I couldn’t even think straightly. The scene kept flashing at my mind.. His sorry kept playing in my head like a broken recorded tape.. and everytime it does, chestpains kept attacking me.. and I cry the more.

Sa sobrang sakit, kulang nalang sabihin ko mas mabuti pang tumalon nalang ako sa dagat at lunurin ang sarili ko. I didn’t know I’ll hurt like this. I didn’t know he’s capable of hurting me like this.

Nakakahiya ako. I turned against Dad.. I made Bea lied to them.. I used someone.. someone’s who’s very dear to me para lang sa kanya.. then.. I’ll get this. Iiwan lang naman pala ako.

“Andito ka lang pala..” He sat beside me. Hindi ako umimik. I just started crying more. “Sinapak ko siya..” He paused. “.. gago eh. Sabi ko sa kanya.. ingatan ka..”

Iyak lang ako ng iyak sa tabi ni Vincent. “Umuwi ka na.. your mom and dad are both worried.” Nang marinig kong binanggit niya si Dad, mas napahagulhol ako sa pag-iyak.

“Y-Yana..” Vincent held my head and slowly placed it in his shoulders. And when he did, I just found myself crying the more.

“V-Vincent.. *hikbi*..”

“Just..” He paused. “.. ilabas mo lang.”

“Anak… tumayo ka na diyan. You have a school pa.”

I woke up early.. only to find myself in my bed in a fetal position.. crying.

“Yana… you have a school. Tumayo ka na..”

“Y-you don’t understand Mom..” I said in between sobs. “Alam mo ba kung anong mangyayari ngayong araw na to kapag pumasok ako?”

“Yana..”

“I’m going to see Gabby.. *hikbi*.. at alam mo ba kung sino ang kasama niya bago siya papasok sa gate ng Lourdes? *hikbi*.. si Rhys.. si Rhys.. ngingiti siya kay Gabby.. kukunin yung mga dala niya.. hahawakan ang kamay.. ihahatid sa gate ng Lourdes.. hihintaying makapasok.. ngingiti ulet.. tapos.. tapos.. *hikbi*… pagkahapon… uupo si Rhys sa harap ng school nila.. tapos.. *hikbi*… hihintayin niya si Gabby na lumabas ng Lourdes.. waiting for that familiar face na lalabas ng school.. *hikbi*… then pag lumabas si Gabby.. he’ll cross the street while smiling sweetly.. tapos.. tapos.. *hikbi*… ngingiti din si Gabby.. kukunin ni Rhys yung mga dala niya.. hahawakan ang kamay… *hikbi*… tapos.. they’ll cross the street again.. together… ” I sobbed. “Then.. ihahatid siya ni Rhys sa bahay nila.. kahit gano pa kalayo yun.. kahit san pang lupalop ng luzon iyon..” I cried so hard.

“Yana.. you have to accept reality. Alam ko.. as a Mom.. as someone na nakadaan din niyan.. it’s hard, but you have to be strong..”

“H-hind-hindi ko yun kaya Mom.. Kasi hindi naman talaga ako matapang eh.. *hikbi*.. Alam mo ba kung anong manyayari kung papasok ako ngayon?..”

“Yana..”

“T-they’re going to laugh at me.. Why? Kasi.. kasi.. I was played.. *hikbi*.. kasi hindi na ako yung hihintayin ni Rhys.. kasi.. yung ngiti niya hindi na para sakin.. kasi.. mas maganda yung pinalit sakin.. kasi kasi.. mas bagay naman talaga sila simula pa noon.. kasi.. uupo na naman ako sa gilid.. titingnan sila.. with the thought that.. he used to be mine.. and I will be hurting like hell.”