Fearless?

Fearless? - Chapter Twenty-Eight

‘Fear cannot be without hope nor hope without fear,’

- Baruch Spinoza

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Cole sat on the wooden pew, wondering if praying to a god he didn’t believe in would help him grow some damn brains. Why had he kissed her! He knew it was a bad idea, kissing people straight after they have just told them their entire past isn’t the best of ideas; and yet he had done it. And, dear god, he didn’t regret it in the slightest. 

The memory played very vividly on his mind. How her lips felt against her, the softness of them in the sweetness of the kiss. It was one of those kisses that make your heart beat double, racing so quickly in your chest that you become sure that it’s about to be ripped out of your chest. And, boy, Cole’s heart had been ripped up. Hell that wasn’t enough to describe how he felt. It was as if his heart had been dragged up his throat, before somebody stomped on it for a bit and shredded it in front of him; and for the grand finale, they had the remains of his heart run over by a bus. That’s exactly how Cole felt.  

While the kiss had been mind blowing-ly unforgettably amazing; the after effects had far outweighed the feeling. The regret in her eyes as they filled with tears; the hurt in her voice. She had wanted her best friend; she had needed her best friend, but he had screwed up. He had screwed up big time.

“Are you alright, sir?” A voice questioned, and Cole turned around to find an old man standing behind him, a concerned look on his face. Cole quickly nodded, realising that he was still in the hospital church, still sitting where him and Azelie had kissed. 

“Yeah, I’m fine thanks,” Cole replied, sending a small smile to the man. The old man looked like he was in his 80’s, he looked tired with dark circles around his eyes.

“It’s a girl right? You love her?” the man guessed. Cole didn’t even have to answer. The old man slowly made his way up to where Cole was sat. Cole slid up the pew as the man sat next to him, looking straight forward at the cross at the top of the room. “I was about your age when I first fell in love. Things were different back then; but love wasn’t. It never changes, that’s one thing you need to always remember. It can appear in different forms, it can disappear, end and the suddenly hit you like a train. And when I first saw her, well it hit me like a train. I fell in love with her instantly, but she... well... she was difficult about it all,” the old man grinned as if he was thinking back to the memories. He turned to face Cole, opening his mouth to speak once again. “She will come around, just give her time,”

Ted lay motionless on the bed, his eyes closed as if he was sleeping. The ‘beeping’ of the heart monitor was the only noise filling the room as Azelie sat on the chair next to her uncle’s bed, hoping that it wouldn’t be long until he woke up. She needed her uncle more than ever. She needed somebody; anybody. Well, anybody, but Cole. 

He had kissed her, the memory constantly playing on her mind, a rush of emotions following it. The urge to run after her best friend and the need to run away counteracted each other, leaving Azelie in an emotional limbo; not knowing if she should take a leap of faith, or just run away and hide. She had already run from him, but who could blame her? She hadn’t exactly been expecting to play a round of tonsil tennis with Cole!