Fearless?

Fearless? - Chapter Thirty

To fear love is to fear life, and those who fear life are already three parts dead,’

- Bertrand Russell

Chapter Thirty

Azelie sat in the uncomfortable leather chair opposite her therapist, Dr. Robertson, who had her glasses perched on her nose as they usually where. For the past thirty minutes, they had been talking about Ted, and how everything over the past week had effected her. Azelie had explained that it had been hard at first, with everything that had happened before. Her parents, grandparents, aunts.... Haley. Azelie said how she was sure that she had lost Ted. That she was alone again. 

The therapist sat opposite her, frequently nodding her head as she jotted down some notes on the note pad she was holding as Azelie spoke, with periodically saying something, or asking a question to keep her talking.

“And Cole, you said he appeared at the hospital. What happened there?” Dr. Robertson asked, looking over at Azelie. Azelie paused for a second, trying to think of what she could tell her. She didn’t want to tell her about the kiss. That was something Azelie would rather keep from her. Something private and personal. Something wonderful. The memory was still forever playing on her mind like it would never be erased. Not that she wanted to forget it. It was like one of those bittersweet moments. Moments that mean nothing; and everything. 

“He appeared at the hospital after hearing about Ted. He knew that I would need somebody so he tracked me down... and I told him,” Azelie spoke, her memory playing back to when she had turned around to see Cole standing behind her. She had somehow known that it was him without even looking, she just needed to check that she wasn’t going completely insane.

“Told him what? Told him about Ted?” Dr Robertson questioned, looking up from the notepad she had been writing on, her full concentration on Azelie at that point, her hazel eyes burning for an answer.

“No... about my family...” Azelie trailed off, trying to tell herself that it wasn’t a big deal that she had told anybody, when she knew that it was a big deal - it was a huge deal for Azelie to open up like that to somebody and she knew it, as much as she would like to ignore it. The thought of telling anybody - especially Cole - had been something Azelie just have just laughed at, it was ludicrous for Azelie to even think of it.  Cole had just been that guy who was annoying her, who would just fight her on everything she said or id. So how had he become so huge in her life? What had changed between them? The idea of Cole being this close to her... it made her feel things that were on two ends of the same spectrum. Sometimes, she wanted to run away from it all, from him. The thought of being this close to somebody was something that Azelie just wasn’t comfortable with, and yet something kept her from running, and that was the other end of her feelings. The feeling that she loved having a home, having people care about her and really just having an actual life. She felt as if there were no consequences for anything, that she was free, and at the same time, that all the consequences were coming, trapped up in the clouds waiting for the right time. Azelie was waiting for the first lightning strike to hit; Ted had been a lucky escape.

“All of it?” The therapist questioned, her eyes wide in shock. Cole had been better for Azelie that she had previously thought. It had taken her weeks to crack Azelie; whereas that boy had managed to get her to tell her the story without even trying. “You told him everything - your family? Aunts? Uncles?”