It's a Love-Hate relationship

CHAPTER 29: I don't want my brother on a damn killing spree

Everyone has their normal side, which they show the world, and a hidden side as well. One that's concealed from the cruelty of the selfish world. One that's born of difficulties endured by the person. A step taken for protection purposes. Protecting the already weak heart they have.

Undoubtedly, I cried oceans during the tough phase of dad's death. I used to lock myself in my room for hours and just let the tears out. Somedays would be silent tears but others would be the ugly sobs that attracted Jason, Aaron, and Draven. I felt dead, weak and drained. Jason even considered getting me out of school for a while and that is when I realized how pathetic I was behaving. All my emotions were channeled into anger from that point. Anger directed at anything and anyone. I was angry that I turned into an emotional wreck. I wanted to show everyone that I wasn't that soft girl who lost her father at a tender age and therefore would require constant attention, pity, and sympathy.

I indefinitely changed. I knew I had to. Dad always said I was his strong daughter and I made sure I lived up to his expectations.

But Caleb. Stupid, moronic Caleb. He drew the inner me out yesterday night. I realize I made a grave mistake by crying and letting my emotional side out in front of him. I barely know him. It would be almost a month since I met him and we've only had a few conversations, yes. I've never even shared my inner feelings with my own brothers and I did that with Caleb yesterday.

I groan at my questionable actions and pull at my hair. I was currently sitting in my tent, my mind far away from the symphony of Billie Eilish's songs. I get out of my tent, zipping it up rather angrily, and walk off for some fresh air which could hopefully take my mind off all this.

"Mind me joining?"

Ugh. The phrase 'talk of the devil' would be more than appropriate here.

"Yes."

"I'll still join you, angry bird."

"Don't give me nicknames, Caleb." My cold voice escapes its box and I keep my gaze fixed on the bridge I'm walking toward.

"Are you okay?" I can practically feel the concern seeping through his voice but I take a deep breath, refusing to fall to his feet like I did yesterday.

"What makes you think I'm not?"

Silence.

I have no idea why I feel a pang of guilt in my chest while being rude to Caleb. But I swallow it as he needs to know that I'm not going to be close to him in any way. To him, I may be just another play toy who he can use his charm on and get anything out. I was stupid enough to soften to his touch and I almost told him everything. Frustration takes over me again and I cross my arms as I continue staring at the still lake.

"Uh...you wanna come at that place on that other side of the lake tonight?" I can feel his strong, penetrating gaze on my face but I choose to ignore because I know the moment I look into his puzzling eyes, I will get lost and blabber any shit that my stupid heart tells me to spew.

"Sorry, no." Even my sorry seems rude but I brush it off and continue, "We have to leave tomorrow and I haven't had my sleep. We both need rest, I think."

"But yesterday-

"Yesterday happened and it was fun, okay? I'll see you around." I walk away from him, a strange feeling settling at the pit of my stomach.

I'm right. This is right. There is nothing wrong about this.

As I continue convincing myself, time passes swiftly and the night quickly rolls in. I'm still holed up in the tent despite Maddie's never-ending lectures of the benefits of being social.