Why Me?

31. Home

Finally, today was my last day in the hospital. Agreeing to go to that stupid group counselling, the doctors signed off on my release. Though I was far from out of the woods yet. I knew that, and so did the doctors. So I still needed to be kept under close watch, just in case I spiral back down into another suicidal attempt.

Sitting on the hospital bed. I stare out the window, remembering the talk I had with my mom a couple of days ago. It was the day after Ryuu told me his parents disowned him.

"Mom, I need a huge favor." I spoke quietly as she sat on the bed next to me.

"Anything baby." She was so happy that Ryuu convinced me to go to the damned group therapy crap.

"Can Ryuu, live with us?" I knew she was shocked once I said this.

However once I explained what his parents did, how he was feeling. I saw pain in her blue eyes as she nodded. "I already consider him family after all." Her smile made me blush embarrassed. But nonetheless. I was happy she felt that way. Ryuu needed a mother like mine, in his life.

"Ruu-chan!" My eyes averted from the window to the doorway, where I saw Miyuki walking in. I don't know why, but this made me oddly happy. "I have missed seeing you at school." She walked over, sitting down in the chair. "So, I got you a little something." She was smiling happily as she handed me the gift bag.

"Uhh, what is it?" I asked her, taking the bag from her hands.

"Well silly. Open it and find out." Miyuki's smile was soft and sweet as I started to open the bag.

"Uhh thanks." I spoke as I reached into the bag.

Pulling out the object, I stared silently at the journal book in my hand. It wasn't just a plain old store bought one either. This one was a leather bound book that tied shut. My blue eyes focused fully on the book as my fingers untied it, opening it up. inside I saw there was a little pen holder, with one resting in it waiting to be used. This journal was breathtaking to me, I was speechless.

"You were always writing back when you were depressed. So I thought, you could maybe start a new collection now that you are happy."

Still speechless, my fingers traced the paper. I truly did love to write. Writing down my feelings and emotions always made me feel better.

"You didn't need to.." I stared up at her, and into her grey eyes. "But thank you. I really like it."

This made her smile happily. "I know I didn't have too, but you are my friend. So I wanted too."

"Friend.." I whispered out silently. In the time I knew Miyuki, I have yet to actually call her my friend. Before I considered her more an acquaintance who I only spoke with really at school. Never outside school. "I never really had a friend before." I whispered out as I closed the journal up and hugged it to my chest. This journal just seemed so much better, to me now. It was a gift from a true friend.

"Well, now you do!" She smiled at me happily. "So I hear you get to go home later today."

"Yah." I spoke nodding my head. The journal still held against my chest.

"That is so good." Her smile faltered for a moment. "I was really scared for you. when I saw, you know..." She stopped herself, unsure if she should be bringing up the video and what I did.

Sighing I lean back onto my pillows and close my eyes. My bed was propped up so I was still sitting up able to talk and see her. "Really, it's fine to talk about around me. I was stupid for even filming that thing. No one was ever supposed to see it."