It makes me want to look more unwanted than before. I don't understand. I REALLY DON'T - because it's part of my life where I can be honest and be real. It's those times when I'm being real to myself, I am able to reach what I know I can.
Now, I feel like everything I was doing isn't necessary at all. I know I shouldn't be so sad about this but it matters now. My feelings, emotions, identity and attitude are involved here and what does this tell me?
Should I act like how people want me to be? Should I act based on their own opinion?
YOU have made me feel like BEING REAL was a wrong thing to do and that being good or ACTING good rather; showing your own definition of KINDNESS is the right to do. No. I know myself more than you do.
I may be a badass sometimes but I know deep inside that I'm not heartless. People say in the past that I bully others but HAVE YOU EVER HEARD ME COMPLAINING WHEN SOMEONE BULLIED ME? no.
Because I tell myself that I'm strong, that I am able to tolerate pain, that I am me and that I should just be myself so that the right people will love me.
03.22.20
