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Even though summer was slowly but surely coming to an end it was unusually cold in Florida today. I sighed and swung my legs out of bed. I just sat there for a minute starring off just thinking.
I miss him.
I took a shower and got dressed in an all-black sweatshirt that Ski gave me, leggings, and wore some black Birkenstocks with black socks to match. I've been wearing his clothes a lot lately because they reminded me of him and I missed him so much. I stared at my reflection in the mirror. I look like crap. I had terrible bags under my eyes and it looked like I hadn't slept in days; Which I hadn't. I grabbed my car key and made my way out the door to start my day.
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I hate it here.
It feels like I've been stuck in my mind for an eternity and I felt like I was in hell. I feel like I was being punished for how much of a shitty person I had been. I was forced to not only lay here and listen to my mom cry but Eudoria also. Currently, I think Jahseh is here. His voice sounded muffled but I knew it was him due to the fact he would call me a dumbass or vro here and there. I could tell that he was mad at me but also worried.
"Vro you gotta wake up. I know your still in there. Don't you dare fucking die on me or I swear to God I bring you back just to kill you again," I heard Jahseh's muffled voice say to me. I then felt him start to lightly slap my face.
"Uhm sir I don't think you should do that," I heard who I assume was the nurse said.
"Fuck off," I heard Jahseh say to her. This nigga here.
"Vro if you wake up. No scratch that WHEN the fuck you wake up you need to do better. You need to take better care of yourself. Seriously. You need to stop depending on others to make you happy. I know you like to rap and shit so maybe you should focus on that and just work on yourself. You got a young jit crying over you and shit," he said then I heard him sniffing.
He was right I did need to get better. Living like this would only bring me to an early death. I'd hate to leave the people I love like that. I could hear the door open and I assumed it was her. She comes to visit me almost every day but never really talks to me though. She usually just holds my hand, cry, and rub my cheek since she knows I love that.
"Hey Eudoria," I heard Jahseh say then get up from next to me I assume to let her sit instead.
"Hi Jahseh," I heard her croak out. I could hear her pain in her voice. I hate that I'm the reason why. I wanted so badly to hold her.
"I'll leave you two alone," Jahseh said then I heard the door close.
She grabbed my hand and held it. I felt her press her lips to my forehead. I could feel butterflies immediately swarm my stomach. I still get the same feeling as if I just met her yesterday. Silence engulfed us.
"Stokeley baby I know you can hear me. I n-need you. I need you to wake up for me. Please. I hate that I said all that stuff to you and I wish I could've been there for you. I should've been there f-for you," her voice was cracking and I could tell she was crying.
