"Don't be mad", Harry's voice said when all I did was stay still and ignore his comments. I didn't want him to drive me home. I wanted to stay in the bar drinking so my feeling were gone, and all I cared about was myself.
"Shut up Harry", I answered in an angry tone, trying to get him to stop talking so I could ignore him like I was planning to. I was trying to move on, and talking to him wasn't the easiest way. "You missed the turn", I mumbled irritated when he kept driving, knowing my house was to the right. "I know, i'm not stopping until you talk to me. Why Marcus?" He asked looking at the road with a frown. I sighed and looked out. "Stop the car Harry", I demanded hoping he would listen. "Stop the car!" I shouted and he finally pulled over and stopped.
"Why?" He asked still wanting to know why I was with Marcus tonight. "I'm walking", I said trying to open the door, but Harry was quick at locking it. "Tell me why you were with Marcus!" Harry shouted. I looked at him and saw only anger. He knew this part of him scared me. I wonder if he does this to Vanessa?
"I need to get over you, I need to move on", I said looking at him as I felt rage take over my body. The alcohol made me more emotional. "You don't have to move on!" Harry shouted before he hit his stearing wheel. He was angry. "I can't move on, but you can? I have to. Seeing you married to my ex bestfriend, is not fun", I said before I huffed. "You told me to!" He shouted as he looked at me again. This time his eyes were a little more voulnerable. "I told you to so I am able to move on from you. I see how terrible you are for me. You make me this emotional, scared and weak girl. I don't want to be that kind of girl Harry! If you listen to the songs on my new album, all of them are about my broken, poor little heart! It's pathetic!" I shouted as the tears finally fell. I couldn't hold them in any longer. Harry's breathing got heavier as he stared at me.
"Don't say that", Harry whispered as he moved his hands closer to my cheek, wiping away my tears. I let him touch me. I let him send the sparks through my skin, just by one touch. "Say what?" I asked as I tried to keep a straight face. I didn't want to cry. It was what I had been doing everyday for one whole year. "Say that you're weak, that you're emotional and terrified. You're the strongest girl i've met. You're the perfect girl. I know how it feels to be terrified because I feel it everytime I look at you. And you know why? Because you take my breath away. You're like some kind of drug I can't get enough of. I hurt you, I know I did. But I am going to try the best I can to make some kind of future with you! You're only 19, and i'm only 23. We can make it work, we just have to go through difficult times to get there", he said trying to sound calm. I could still hear the anger in his voice, and I knew it was because of his feelings for me. Just like mine for him, they wouldn't disappear.
"Say something", he whispered. I took a deep breath and raised my hand, slapping his right cheek. "That was for cheating on me, for marrying someone who isn't me, and not trying hard enough", I said feeling good about letting my anger out. "Tell me what you want", Harry said, obviously knowing that this was good for me. To finally realise what i've been keeping locked in for a whole year. The truth.
"I want a white wedding. Ever since I was a tiny girl pink roses were my favorite flowers. I want them everywhere as I walk down the isle. I want cute little flower girls in beautiful white summer dresses. I want the perfect honeymoon. The Maldives. It's a place to get away from all the paparazzi. To get our own little house by the beautiful water.. That's what I want someday", I said looking down at my lap. I felt Harry's hand tuck a piece of hair behind my ear as he leaned closer pressing his pink lips to my cheek. "Tell me more", Harry said noticing how relaxed I got.
"I want three kids. I want them to grow up in a good way. Not like you and I did. I want to be loved so much that it feels almost insane. I want you. I want you for real", I said finally looking up at Harry. His eyes lit up. I could tell he needed to hear that. A sign that I still felt for him. He leaned closer but I pushed him away. "You're a married man. I can't", I whispered before I got out of the car and ran home. Harry's car didn't move, or even try to go after me. He knew it had to be like this. He knew he messed up and ruined everything. It felt like it was me and Harry against the world, and we kept losing.
