-eleven-

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"I'm so disappointed in you, Yoongi. I thought you stopped doing those things!"

Yoongi lowered his head, ashamed of himself and the stuff he had been doing for over a year. The harsh tone his mother had used against him echoed in his head like a mantra, not giving him a chance to breathe.

He felt like he'd suffocate on the spot.

"I tried." He mumbled under his shaky breath, not lifting his head to look at his parents, because he knew he'd face their disappointed expressions.

"What do you mean by 'tried'?" His father approached him this time, the malice in his eyes becoming clearer with each step he took.

Yoongi took an immediate step back, already knowing where things were headed. His parents were upset and for good reason.

He had been taking part in the illegal races, he was drinking, smoking and fooling around with countless girls and boys a bit too much. All at the age of 18.

"This is not how I raised you! What is wrong with you?" His mother shrieked, hands balling into fists that curled around his shirt.

He didn't try to pull away or say something back because there was no point. He knew he was wrong so why bother?

He was addicted to things he shouldn't be and there was no way out for him.

"I'm sorry." He finally muttered, voice void of emotion.

Looking up, he was met with his father's steel-like glare. "You're sorry? How pathetic can you be?" He seemed more angry with each passing second and he couldn't hold himself back anymore.

Taking a final step towards his son, he balled his hand into a fist and punched the boy, causing him to lose his balance and stumble a few steps back.

Yoongi flinched at the sight of blood and lowered his head in shame yet again, the guilt nearly eating him alive. He didn't want to be like that. He didn't want any of that. He wanted to be a normal teenager.

"Get out of my house, you lowlife. Go ahead and ruin yourself, I don't care anymore. Go!"

Last thing he knew, he was out of the place he had been calling 'home' and out in the open. Exposed and vulnerable to all his addictions.

It was barely morning by the time Yoongi had woken up, panting and covered in sweat. He felt like he'd suffocate on the spot, just like he felt that day.

It was getting harder to breathe the more he tried getting the dream out of his head. The voices of his parents were still haunting him even after all the years that had passed and he felt weaker each time. He couldn't handle it anymore.

"Leave me alone already!" He growled, clutching his head.

Guilt wouldn't leave him alone. He was being eaten alive by it ever since his parents had committed suicide because of him.

He couldn't get over it no matter how much he tried to forget. No matter how much he indulged himself in his addictions.

His addictions. They were at fault for everything that had happened. He ruined both himself and his family because of the guilty pleasures he couldn't get rid of.

'You're the worst, Yoongi! Why can't you be like your brother?'

"Shut up."

'I'm so disappointed in you!'

"Shut up..Please leave me alone.."

'Lowlife! Get out!'

"Shut the fuck up!!" Yoongi grasped the small vase that stood on top of the shabby nightstand and threw it at the wall, breaking it into countless little pieces.

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