Hopeless

Chapter 15

The first thing Ahsoka became aware of was the pain in her arm. It stung, she felt a slight pressure around it. The sound of steady beeps seemed to echo around her head. Although her eyes were closed, Ahsoka could feel light trying to breakthrough. Finally, there was something on her hand. It was moving, rubbing the back of her hand.

Her head felt heavy and her thoughts were coming in slow. Ahsoka recognized it as the feeling of drugs running through her system. That was weird.

Ahsoka didn't consider the action long before she was trying to peel open her eyes. The drugs made her feel sluggish, causing her to attempt the action multiple times before finally getting it right.

Once she opened her eyes, Ahsoka saw she was lying in a bed and recognized the room to be the medbay in the Jedi Temple. As the drugs quickly started to fade Ahsoka began regaining feeling in her body. When she moved her hand slightly she heard a sharp gasp to her right.

"Ahsoka,"

She turned her head to see Anakin sitting beside her. His eyes were wide open, tear tracks stained his face. Ahsoka looked down slightly to realize it had been Anakin who was rubbing her hand. His hand still laid over hers. The touch was comforting.

Shuffling of clothes made Ahsoka look to the other side of her bed to see Obi-wan in a similar position as Anakin. While the older Jedi did not appear to have been crying, as Anakin had, he did look concerned. Something about his appearance was so unlike him that it was clear something was wrong. His hair stood up on end and his beard was slightly askew as if he had been running his hand through them too much. Obi-wan looked shaken. Something Ahsoka had never seen on the Jedi Master.

"Ahsoka," Anakin said again.

Ahsoka opened her mouth to speak, but no words came out. There were so many things she wanted to say. She wanted to apologize; for how she'd been acting, for pushing them away, for lying. But she didn't know how to begin and the sheer terror that came with opening up to them made her mouth freeze. Instead of words coming out though, a sob erupted from her throat. Tears pooling down her face quickly after.

Anakin seemed to kick into gear, taking a seat beside Ahsoka on the bed and pulling her into his side. He spoke assurances and rubbed Ahsoka's back in an attempt to calm her.

Obi-wan just watched the exchange, heart tearing in two. It had been touch and go for a while, Ahsoka had lost a lot of blood, and the healers weren't sure if she'd pull through. He spent the three hours Ahsoka was being treated trying to pull Anakin together.

When Ahsoka had first been pulled away from Anakin he was distraught. Sobs racked his body and he quickly fell into a panic attack. Obi-wan had been with him through it and managed to comfort his former padawan but what really disturbed him was when Anakin got quiet. That was the point where Obi-wan's nerves started to get to him. Anakin was rarely quiet. It just wasn't in his character. So when he stopped talking and instead resorted to sitting completely still, staring, Obi-wan got worried.

During the hours he spent waiting with Anakin his mind had really considered the possibility of Ahsoka dying. It was haunting, to think he would never see her smiling face again. Never see her excited and eager to start a mission again. Ahsoka was so bright and had so much potential. This couldn't be the end for her. 

Obi-wan had thought on the impact such an event would have on Anakin. It wasn't a secret that Anakin had a problem with forming attachments. It was something he had struggled with ever since he arrived on Coruscant. It had only gotten worse as he got older and although a padawan was an attempt to stem that struggle, it had inevitably strengthened it. Anakin and Ahsoka were practically joined at the hip, and Obi-wan was well aware of Anakin's fondness for the girl. The toll her death would have had on Anakin would have been astronomical. It could have destroyed him. Obi-wan shuddered at the thought. So when the healers had come out and announced Ahsoka would make a full recovery, Obi-wan had let out a thankful sigh. Not only that he hadn't lost someone very dear to him, but also because it meant Anakin would be alright.