ONYX✔️

Chapter 44

Felt nice. Don't get used to it. 

Finn and I continued to walk the gardens for awhile, and I evaded most conversation he tried to make. I didn't feel comfortable with him, not ready to open up, especially when he asked about that night.

When we got to a garden of red roses, my vision turned murky and all I could see was a red haze. The flowers turned into blood, and I saw Greyson's heart ripped from his body. I couldn't help throwing up everything I had eaten for breakfast, all over the roses.

Finn held my hair back immediately as I hunched over, expelling everything from my stomach. Soon, my heaving turned to coughing.

"Sorry," I muttered, and Finn held out a handkerchief for me to wipe with. I had a fleeting thought that he expected it, and was prepared.

"Don't apologize," Finn looked at me with sympathy, his hand reaching for my face, and I flinched. He withdrew his hand.

"Although Ronin may not be as forgiving as I," Finn changed the subject quickly, with an apologetic smile. "He's quite protective over his garden. Dean learned that the hard way. It's how he got the scar on his face."

I fought back a smile. I had assumed Dean got the scar in a dangerous battle, not because he ruined someone's flowers.

"We can go back inside, if you want. Kallista is worried, wants to see you," He says softly.

I cringe. I was in no condition to be talking to other people. I couldn't even look at flowers without projectile vomiting.

"Or not," He quickly says. "I can tell her to screw off for awhile."

Nodding, I exhale in relief. I could only imagine how disappointed Grey would be in me if he saw what I had been reduced to. A shell of a person.

But it didn't matter, because he wasn't here. And I wouldn't ever get to hear his sarcastic, teasing comments ever again.

"Would you like to watch a movie or something?" Finn suggested. "I could clear everyone out of the movie room, and we could watch something."

I nod.

Finn guides us back inside the house, and I continue to be amazed by the size. I couldn't believe he had built it himself. The inside was so homey, flowers on every table, vibrant rugs scattered haphazardly. It was so different from the Blue Moon pack house, which was cold, silver, and everything immaculately placed.

We go to a dimly lit room with a huge television screen, and oversized recliners. There was even a popcorn machine in the corner.

Finn gestured to the recliners. "Sit in whichever one you prefer. I'll leave once I put something on for you."

I nod, and he turns on the screen, and uses a remote. "We have all of the streaming services. Is there something in particular you want to watch?"

I shake my head. Finn sighs. "I know you must feel out of place here, but it's your home, for as long as you want it to be. You don't have to be shy, it's okay to tell me whatever you want, I'll give it to you."

I almost forgot I had a voice. In Blue Moon, it felt like everything was always pushed on me, like I had no decisions of my own to make. Is this what freedom was? Had I so easily forgotten that I'm capable of making my own choices?

"New Girl," I say quietly.

"What?" Finn looks confused.

"That's what I want to watch," I clarify, and Finn looks relieved. Maybe because I talked, maybe because he thought I wouldn't ever say anything again. "It's on Netflix."