Cross My Heart and Hope You Cry | The Clique Fanfiction

16

Briarwood-Octavian Country Day School

Soccer Field

Tuesday, September 15th

7:27 AM

He'd been trying to avoid Derrick's burning gaze all throughout soccer practice. He hadn't thought that Cassia would tell anyone about the. . . ahem- incident in the car yesterday, but by the blonde's narrowed glare, pursed lips, and the way he had started stomping towards him as soon as he was out of his mom's backseat, he knew that she'd told him. He was simply thankful that their coach had blown to call the Team Captain over for a talk, leaving his best friend no time to corner him.

It wasn't as if he didn't already feel guilty enough. He'd been a brat, yesterday, he knew; completely ignoring his girlfriend's pleas and then ultimately blocking her to stop the flow of messages. His actions only made his heart stutter, unbridled guilt growing in his chest, and yet, too prideful to even send a simple reply to soothe her fears. The few texts he'd sent to Derrick had been short, passive-aggressive (well, apparently not very passive since he'd sought out his girlfriend afterwards) and teeming with anger to hide his embarrassment.

He didn't hate Cassia - he could never. If he was being completely honest with himself, he was sure that the warm feeling that always spread throughout his body whenever he saw her could only be an emotion akin to love. She made a grin fall onto his face each time their gazes met, she made him feel as if he was flying on cloud nine, she made him feel so good that he couldn't possibly explain it, and yet, he'd pushed her away so callously yesterday that he wanted to hit himself. The way he had felt towards Claire was nothing like the way he feels towards Cassia. That relationship was a middle school fling - puppy love. This was the real deal, he was sure of that . . . and yet, that still didn't stop him from being an absolute ass to her.

He'd felt her hurt gaze on him all through class yesterday. Heard her fingers moving swiftly across the keyboard until it was matched by a ping from his phone. Seen the way she'd completely ignored the boys in overflow who'd noticed the rift between them, only to look at him after with hope in her eyes and have it be dashed completely when he didn't so much as spare her a glance. He'd just been so embarrassed! His girlfriend had felt, had been sitting on, his boner! It was like he couldn't help his body from immediately lashing out against her, no matter how many times she tried to reassure him that she didn't care. He'd never really felt self-conscious until he'd started dating the model-actress. Her exs weren't some random dudes from Double Day, or guys from her old school back in Beverly Hills, no - her ex boyfriends were actors on blockbuster movies, twins with their own Disney show. How could he, a simple soccer player whose family couldn't even match the extreme-wealth of other kids at BOCD, be good enough for Cassia? He wasn't even the best in terms of looks, in terms of popularity. Most wealthy, Josh Hotz; most popular, Derrick Harrington; biggest dick, goddamn Chris Plovert! He'd seen it enough times in the locker room, and he supposed that after last week's 'darling' fiasco, coupled with his not-the-biggest dong, he couldn't help feeling inferior and lash out at the girl who'd never showed him anything but her everlasting love.

He'd felt like an idiot, of course, but with his mother shepherding him into the car for soccer practice and forcing a granola bar in his hand, he didn't have enough time to do anything more than unblock her. God, he can't believe he actually blocked her! And now, as the coach's whistle sounded again, signaling the end of practice, he couldn't help but feel weary as Derrick began stalking towards him. It's not like he could run - he'd have to go to the locker room to get changed, and they would be stuck in the same trailer all day so Derrick would corner him eventually. Instead, he slumped in abject defeat, before wincing as Derrick's clenched fist connected with his shoulder.