Wanderlust (mxm)

Chapter Nineteen

Tanden started kissing him the moment the chamber door shut, and as usual Soren was happy to oblige. Tanden pushed him against the wall beside the door, his hands twisted in Soren's tunic.

Tanden suddenly stepped back, but kept his hand on Soren's chest to stop him from following. Soren could have pushed away his arm easily, but he didn't. Instead he waited and watched Tanden's face. He was deep in thought, not really looking at anything. Finally he spoke. "Soren?"

"Aye?"

"Why don't you use my name?" Tanden met his gaze. "I hadn't really noticed, to be honest, but now that Tandar's pointed it out... You know you're allowed to, don't you?"

Soren nodded. "Of course."

"So then why don't you?"

Soren took a deep breath and then exhaled, just to give himself a moment to think. "Well... it just never occurred to me, I suppose. You essentially owned me at first, what with me working to pay off my debt, I couldn't call you by name back then. And once I'd finally paid off my debt, you were still my Captain, so that's how I addressed you. I know things have changed since then..." he glanced pointedly at Tanden's hand, still firmly gripping his tunic. "But you're still my Captain... and my Lord... and you deserve to be addressed as such."

"I've told you time and time again that I'm not your Lord."

"But you are," Soren protested. He gestured at the room around them. "I'm from West Draulin. That makes your family my lords, as it were, and you especially. You're a lord. And you're mine."

"Well... I like that distinction," Tanden said, but he still didn't seem convinced. "Say my name."

"Captain Tanden."

"No, just my name."

Soren hesitated. "Tanden."

"Thank you. Now was that so hard?"

Soren shook his head. "No. But I'd like to keep calling you Captain."

Tanden sighed. "Even privately?"

"Aye."

Tanden cocked his eyebrow. "Very well, have it your way. Come on." He tugged gently on Soren's tunic, and Soren let himself be led over to the bed.

Soren had trouble falling asleep. He drifted in and out of a light sleep for a while, but never for very long. He lay on his back, watching the moon slowly drift by outside. His mind was racing, no matter how much he tried to calm it. Soren wasn't sure what would come of Lord West Draulin and Lord Tandar knowing about their relationship, and it worried him. Although they seemed welcoming enough, there were so many possibilities. Maybe they wouldn't turn him away or banish him, but what if they insisted on giving him a title? Or making Tanden marry him?

Soren came to a sudden decision—going for a quick walk might calm his mind. Beside him, Tanden was deeply asleep, his arm draped over Soren's stomach. Soren gently nudged his arm aside, and Tanden barely stirred.

As quietly as he could, Soren pulled on his clothing from the day before. He could tell from the position of the moon that it was past midnight, that weird time of night which could be considered either a late night or an early morning. He walked over to the door but paused before pushing it open. He knew the guard outside by sight only, Tanden had said something to him the evening before, something that made it clear the knight already knew about Tanden's habits. Still, Soren felt nervous. He steeled himself and slipped out into the hallway.