The Holy Death

Chapter 4

Pastor Larry Parker sat across the desk from Scott and Dawn, drumming his fingers on a textbook about premarital counseling as they waited. His eyes bounced between the young woman and Scott as he considered his next words carefully.

"Well?" Scott asked Larry.

"Well, what?"

"You're the counselor here, so, counsel?"

"You've both got to understand, you two aren't exactly a, shall we say, normal couple."

"Granted," Dawn said, "I mean, there is an age difference."

Scott nodded. "Yeah, yeah, age difference."

"But we never let that bother us," Dawn gazed at her fiancé, "Right, sweetie?"

"No, of course not!" Scott returned her cloying look with an equally schmaltzy gaze.

Larry cleared his throat. "Yeah, age difference. Yeah. That's... that's pretty, pretty weird. I mean, it used to be fairly common in older societies."

"Right!" Scott said, "Older societies! For instance, among the Zulus, during the time of Shaka, a man could not even marry until he had slain an enemy in battle!" Scott then winced, as he realized the analogy wasn't the most appropriate given his recent history. "Ow. Yeah, that may not have been the best illustration."

"You think?" Dawn asked.

"It's not the age difference that concerns me," Larry said. "I mean, yeah, it's a bit unusual, but not unheard of, and it's not necessarily a cause for concern. What I'm more concerned about, well, how do I put this. Okay, I'll just say it: Scott, you're a vampire."

"Yeah?"

"And Dawn, you're.... you're a human."

"Yeah?" Dawn answered.

"Well, it's just that this doesn't happen ever, except in teenage romance novels."

"Bad teenage romance novels," Scott said.

"Whatever. The fact is, I'm not quite sure how to proceed here."

"Maybe," Dawn said, "Maybe we just think of Scott as though he were any other guy about to get married."

"That's just it, Dawn. Scott isn't 'any other guy', not anymore. And that's the problem."

"Look, I get it," Scott said, "I'm not exactly human. I have a lot of baggage that goes along with being a vampire. But, didn't I have baggage anyway?"

"Being divorced and being a vampire are hardly similar things."

"We appreciate that," Dawn responded, "But I know what I'm getting into here."

"Oh really? Do you?"

"Well, yeah! Well okay, maybe not so much."

"Larry," Scott said, "Dawn and I have been over this. Remember, I avoided pursuing a relationship with her intentionally. I warned her about the possibilities, and she just wouldn't give up."

"Oh, so this is my fault now?" Dawn groused.

"I didn't say that, dear, I'm just trying to lighten the mood."

"Didn't work."

"Hey, look, you two," Larry said, "Focus on the issue at hand. There are some issues here that are way beyond any issue I've dealt with yet, at least as far as marriage is concerned, and all those issues are, sorry to say, all about Scott."