The Young and the Beautiful

Chapter 44

In 1994, Alfonso became a widower at just thirty-four and was left with his son named Joaquin Santiago. He was just less than five years married to Carrie, when she died because of brain aneurysm. I wasn't able to talk to him properly since, for the next month he wasn't well, and Camila and I decided to take care of his son for his wife's parents are both in New Jersey.

His siblings tried their best in reaching out to him but it was of no use. Charlie told me when he called this morning that he tried to call his brother every day to talk to him, but he said that Alfonso wasn't opening up and tried to talk to him about something else.

Bela and his nieces visited him in attempt to cheer him up with their company and good food, and it was effective and talked to her about what happened. We gave him space to be on his own and tried our best to be supportive of his decision.

He said that his trips to the therapist helped him a lot, and now focuses on painting. I was a little disappointed when a friend of ours told that there are nights that they saw him drinking a lot and hooking up with different women, spending all of his money on nonsense. That was when I knew that I need to step in.

I visited him in his condo in the city. It was like a pigsty. It smelled of brandy, and cigarettes. There was even a woman's underwear just by his bedroom door.

"What happened to you, Alfonso?" I said.

"I knew that's what you're going to say." He replied.

"But papa you can't understand me, because your wife is still with you. Life's so unfair, the love of my life is gone all of a sudden. I feel that my life is over." He said. I saw him wearing my Rolex that I passed on to him on his birthday when we were in Spain. It's good that he didn't sell it.

"Don't say that Alfonso." I replied. Then I handed him Quin's drawing. He drew a child by itself outside a house. It could only mean one thing.

"You have a son! Alfonso, don't act like it's the end of the world." I said.

"I cannot look into my son's eyes because he reminded me of her." He replied. Then he let out a soft sob which continues to a major meltdown.

"I don't know papa if I could do this alone. I cannot be a good father to him." He said. As he put both of his hands on his face.

"I just feel so broken, and I don't want him to see me like this." He added. Well Joaquin cannot really see him like that. If he does, then he'll be scarred or life.

"So you're running away?" I said with a firm voice. Alfonso looked at me.

Then make yourself up! Go back to work! Do your best to keep you occupied." I said.

"Your mother and I gave you space to mourn by yourself. But this isn't getting healthy anymore. Drinking every night, womanizing, sleeping with random chicks you meet in the bar? Alfonso, it won't do you any good." I added. I stood up and grabbed him a glass of water which was impossible since he doesn't have any clean glass by his drawers. Unbelievable.

"Nobody can make me feel as whole as she did." He said.

"I know that. Pero mijo, you are the only person responsible to make yourself feel complete again. You think I don't understand you? Then let me tell you a story." I said.

I told him the story about my ex-girlfriend, Emily, and told him that I also felt that way.

"Then when you realize that you are at rock bottom, there's nowhere else to go but up. Hijo, trust me, it gets better." I added.

I asked his therapist before I visit him what should he do and she told me that Alfonso should keep himself busy to keep his mind out of how he feels.

"You should clean around this mess Alfonso. You're better than this." I said. Then I left his condo and promised him lunch the next day with his son if he will tidy things up.

Days after, he called me early in the morning and said that he tidied the place up and was ready to meet his boy.

Camila and I was supposed to go, but she said she was supposed to go to a lunch meeting with her art friends that was planned months ago.

When Alfonso opened the door, he saw me holding Joaquin's hand. He shaved, and had a clean haircut. The whole condo was also clean and tidy now. He hugged his son, and told Joaquin that he should have been there for him when he lost his mother.

I talked to Alfonso about his situation. It was a tragedy, he said that he loved her more than anything and was hoping that he and his wife will have the same story like ours. I told him that everyone has their own story, and that he wasn't alone. Then he showed me the badge that I gave him before they left for Spain.

"I held on to it and tried if the placebo was still working on me." He said, then let out a good laugh.

"Oh, Alfonso. Mi principe." I said. Then he laughed on hearing his childhood pet name.

"Thank you for making me strong Papa. I know that I can do this even on my own. I will always have you and Mama." He said. Then he placed Qunito bonito on his lap, with light brown hair and big brown eyes he looked like Carrie, and a little bit of Alfonso.

"Well, hijo. You can still date other women when you're ready. Besides, you're young. You just turned thirty-four and there are still lots of women that you can date." I replied.

"Well Papa, yes there are a lot. But my priority now is Quin. All those women I dated only wanted me. But my son will always come first. When there comes a time that a woman will understand that, and be Quin's mother figure then maybe I will marry her. He's my inspiration to be the best man I can be, just like you papa." He replied. He was very sincere and firm on his decision.

He wasn't like that and dated a lot of girls when he was younger. But being a father changed that for him, and I couldn't be prouder.

I offered him to move back to our home in Makati so that Joaquin could have a happier childhood running around the yard, socializing with other children which he cannot do in a condo.