𝐸𝑉𝐸𝑅𝐺𝑅𝐸𝐸𝑁 𝑀𝐼𝑆𝑇 || 𝐷.𝑀.

twenty eight

Mum,
I want to start this by apologizing. Apologizing for not being able to do what I'm asked or told. Apologizing for not being better. I can only imagine how furious father is when he learned I couldn't carry out the task granted to me. That's the thing though, mum, how could I carry that out? I feel like you of all people should understand when I say that I can't just kill somebody because I'm told to do so. I'm not a Death Eater, mum and I know that you're alright with that because deep down I could see you never wanted this life for me. I think father feels the same way as well, but he would never let that show.
This is part of the reason why I'm not going home, or well, back to the manor. I can't call that home anymore now, mum, because the thing is, I've found a new one. I won't say where and you won't find me, it's a very well hidden cottage and goodness, mum, it is absolutely breathtaking. She's breathtaking. Yeah, I'm here with a girl.
See, I met her at the beginning of sixth year and I tried to push her away at first, but good lord she was so stubborn. She still is so stubborn. She wouldn't drop it and you know now that I think back on it, neither would I. We were like magnets always coming straight back together again each time we'd try to walk away. I can't say much, but I hope one day you can meet her, mum. I think you'd love her.
I love her. God, do I love her. She makes me a better person and she's part of the reason I simply couldn't carry out that task. She's made me realize just how screwed up our family's prejudices are and how insanely twisted everything is in this world. She showed me what it feels like to open my heart to look out for someone other than myself and it's terrifying. It's terrifying to love someone as much as I love her, but I don't feel terrified when I look at her or when we're lying together looking at the stars. We're safe, mum. We found this little cottage together, she calls it a Tudor style cottage. She's told me so many times and I barely know what the word means. All I know is that I'm happy and safe here and that I miss you, mum.
I'm sorry I'm leaving the family like this and that my absence is wrecking the Malfoy name. I don't mean to be the child that fucks everything up, but I can't fight on the wrong side and mum, our family is on the wrong side. So, I ran away with this girl who's brighter than all the stars in the night sky because she of all people sees the good within me and made me see that good too. We're safe in this little Tudor cottage near where the juniper berries grow and the evergreen trees smell sweetly of pine. It's a happy place here, mum, and I hope one day you can see it for yourself.
I know father will most likely read this too, which he'll be of most disappointed and probably fueled with rage, so father...dad, I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I'm strong enough to know when to stop fighting for the wrong side and that I met someone who's made me strong enough to leave that side. At one point when I was a kid I asked you what 'love' meant and you told me it meant power. For so long I thought you were wrong and I thought love was weakness, but the thing is, dad, she's helped me realize that love is powerful, rather than power. She's shown me the wondrous feeling of loving someone so deeply and so recklessly that when I look back on myself, I barely recognize that person. I wish you could see me now and how much more powerful I am because of her.
In time I hope you'll both understand why I had to leave. In time I hope you can both meet this girl, she's wonderful and I really do hope you love her as much as I do.
I hope you write back, the owl will know where to find me and please don't look for me. I miss you, mum. I miss you greatly and I love you and dad.

Love,
Draco