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After the guys' miserable attempt at apologizing to Julie I finally made my way down from the loft and stood behind them with my arms crossed.
"You call that an apology?"
They all jumped and turned to face me, "Come on, you too?" Alex asked.
"You guys really messed this up. Now music is out of our lives forever. I really hope it was worth it." I said to them.
"You had 20 years to get over this, okay? This is all news to us. You can't blame us for being mad." Luke said to me.
"I was mad, but I didn't bail on my bandmates to get petty revenge." I stepped towards him making Alex and Reggie step in between us.
"So you think I'm selfish too then, huh?" Luke said over Reggie's shoulder.
"That's not what I'm saying, Luke." I sighed, resting my hand on my head.
"Sure sounds like it." Luke poofed out and I leaned back onto the stool shaking my head.
"He's going to his mom's isn't he?" I asked.
"Well, it is his birthday." Reggie said.
I looked between Alex and Reggie and then poofed out to Emily and Mitch's house. I hadn't visited them in a really long time, mostly because I rarely went anywhere except my house and The Orpheum. After the guys died I spent a lot of time with Emily and Mitch rewatching all of those videos that she took of Luke and I as kids, going through Luke's things and going through numerous amounts of pictures. It was hard, but having Emily and Mitch was relieving. They always told me they felt the same way, that having me around helped them grieve. Then I went and died and caused them a whole nother lot of pain. My family was close with Luke's, which is why Luke and I were so close.
"Luke?" He was sitting on the kitchen counter watching Emily and Mitch prepare a birthday cake. Chocolate with chocolate icing: Luke's favorite.
"What, Jay?" Luke sighed and swung his legs off the edge of the kitchen counter.
"I'm sorry, you know that's not what I meant." I reached for his hands and he pulled them away from me.
"I screwed everything up. I messed it up with my mom and dad, now I messed things up for the band. All I do is screw everything up." Luke had tears streaming down his face and I could only imagine how hard it was to be in front of your parents and not be able to touch them or talk to them.
"Jules will come around. You made a mistake, you were angry, I can't be mad at you for that." I took his hands and he finally let me. It always killed me to see him like this.
"I just feel like I mess everything good in my life up." He looked down and I squeezed his hands gently.
I cupped his cheeks and lifted his head to look at me, "That's simply just not true. Luke, you're the most caring friend I know. You were there for me when Allison Eckerman stole my doll in kindergarten and I cried about it for a week. You were there for me I almost got held back in sixth grade, you helped me study every night for weeks just to make sure I passed summer school. You beat up Zach Johnson when he broke my stupid fragile little heart. You're anything but selfish."
