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dear luke,
you died a month ago today. the girl that tried bobby tried to hit on, rose, has been helping me grieve. she was there the night you died. she was there when i found out you guys were gone. my mom said that maybe writing letters to you guys will make me feel better. my therapist thinks its a good way to grieve so this is me trying.
rose is a great help. she's always here for me. she loves your guitar by the way. all bobby wants to do is write, but his songs kind of suck. i told him that we could re record everything when i start to feel better, but i haven't started to feel better. i feel worse every day. bobby also changed his name to trevor wilson. i guess bobby really isn't a rockstar name, but he said its because he wants to be able to release music without his parents knowing it's him. sounds a little suspicious to me.
i feel awful that i haven't been to see your parents. i miss them. i miss going over there for dinner on sundays because i miss your moms cooking and her laugh. i miss your dad asking us if we're dating yet. im terrified because i know that emily is going to ask me to go get things from your room. i don't think i can handle that yet. i can barely go into the garage. im not ready to look through your things or smell your scent lingering in your room. all of that just confirms that you're gone. i hope you're with reggie and alex. god knows alex would be hysterical if you guys weren't there with him. wherever you may be.
i think about you a lot. like more than a normal person grieving their best friend should, i think. i think about how i didn't have enough time with you. in itself, i don't think that any amount of time would be enough with you. we had so much planned. we had so much to do. so much life ahead of us. i guess i still do have that life ahead of me, but it just doesn't seem right without you. it doesn't seem easy without you.
you know, that night i was going to tell you that i loved you. rose of all people convinced me that the night was special and that i should tell you how i felt. i guess i just needed a girl friend to push me to tell you. alex wasn't enough i suppose. anyways. i was ready to tell you. then you went and died on me.
im guessing that was the universe telling us to not be together.
i love you luke. im so sorry i didnt say it sooner.
always,
jade
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dear luke,
today i saw emily and mitch. emily had my favorite tea waiting for me when i got there. i told her that the show we were supposed to play was going to change our lives. i dont think it makes it any easier on her as a parent, but she's starting to understand.
i also went through your things. you weren't there to tell me no, so i did it anyways. i found a bunch of pictures you had of me. you're such a little liar sometimes. i recall you telling me that you had lost a majority of those pictures.
