I Am Not Ashamed | ✓

2

The next day, after the incident with Elijah that clearly saddened Rachel, she walked to her locker, grabbing her literature books, before closing it back gently. That morning she wasn't feeling very well, not physically but more spiritually. She hated arguing with people and even though Elijah and her didn't really argue, she couldn't help but feel guilty. Guilty for bringing that side of him without wanting it. And most importantly guilty for not helping him since she felt like there was something wrong with him.

"Rachel, hi."

A voice was heard behind her, making her turn around to face Shellah, one of her closest friends. She had tears falling down her beautiful face, and her deep red painted lips were now trembling slightly.

"Are you alright?"

Rachel walked close to her, pulling her into a warm and tight hug, sadness filling her whole heart because she hated seing tears of the ones she loved without knowing what to do to stop them.

"No, I'm not. Rachel, John broke up with me for Ayla can you believe that? Oh my gosh, you don't know how I'm feeling right now, I feel humiliated, hurt and replaced."  She said, sobbing uncontrollably.

Rachel wasn't even surprised nor shocked. She knew how John was, how he couldn't control himself when it came to girls. She knew him so well and she used to warn her friend about his nature but she refused to hear. Yet she wasn't going to remind her that, not right now at least. And when it came to Ayla, it was obvious she still had hidden feelings for him, after all she still was ready to do anything to get him back- Rachel wondered what she did this time.

"Oh no. Listen he doesn't deserve your tears alright? Stop crying. If he went back to his ex-girlfriend it is because you guys maybe weren't meant to be. I'm sure that God has someone special for you. Just be patient."

She said as she pushed the strand of hair that was covering her whole face in a messy way behind her ears, before wiping some of her tears.

"I think you don't understand what's happening here! I loved him! And she just took him away from me!I won't let this happen Rachel. I'm going to ruin her. I'm going to break him the same way he broke me."  She said, pulling away from the hug before wiping her salty tears away. Determination found its way on her face as she breathed angrily.

"What? No, listen, this isn't the right way to solve this jus-"

"What would you do if you were in this situation Rachel? Because I feel like you don't understand me at all! What would you do? Oh you don't know because you've never been in a relationship! So please save your advices for yourself, I don't need them. Not right now."

Rachel frowned.

"I know that I've never been in a relationship but I'm sure that getting revenge isn't the right thing to do-"

Shellah found another opportunity to cut her off. "Oh yes, you're right, I should just be like you and forgive right?" She said clearly mocking her.

Rachel breathed, rubbing her forehead slowly before speaking again, trying to calm her down. Shellah was the kind of person that couldn't listen to people when she was extremely mad which is the case at this moment.

"Listen, I've read somewhere: "You have heard that it was said, 'Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.' But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also. And if anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, hand over your coat as well."

"This is a bible verse right? Unbelievable. You know what? I'm tired of you trying to shove your religion down my throat every time I come here to speak to you about my problems. I'm tired of you acting like you're better than everyone else, that you have a heart and not us? Why do you have to always be so kind even when it's not necessary?"

And that's when Rachel found herself in the same situation she was in yesterday. She watched her tears drying and how her eyes looked at her with a feeling she couldn't describe nor understand. And just like the other day, she spoke the same words.

"Because I am not ashamed of the gospel. The one that teaches peace and not war. The one that teaches kindness and not hate."

Rachel replied with confidence, making Shellah laugh. She shook her head in disbelief as she closed her eyes for a few seconds before opening them back.

"You know what? Don't talk to me again ok?" She whispered harshly before walking away from her.

And just like that, Rachel lost one of the friends she though would stay with her till the end of their journey in high school. Just because she wanted to give an advice coming from her heart.

Sighing, she turned to walk inside her next class but something stopped her immediately. Elijah Bornman was watching her intently as if he knew what has happened. He was standing there, next to his friends who were talking to him, yet his attention was fully on Rachel, who was now hugging her literature books and looking back at him.

She felt like walking to him and apologize. For what exactly? She didn't know. But she stopped herself at the sight of his friends, if she was going to apologize, it was going to happen in private between the two concerned people. Elijah and her.

Breaking the strong eye contact, she walked to her french class.

She still wondered how the school year was going to be this time, with a new friend like Elijah.