Stolen Voices ✓

February 14th

*light mentions of sexual assault in this chapter that pertain to Elias's past*

February 14th:

Elias has seen a lot of Mara in the past week. She would dart into the library unannounced with a pompous grin and some new mantra that she was eager to share with him. Sometimes the building would be full of mothers chasing their young sticky children. Or teenagers, isolated at desks, cramming for a test, their pencils tapping on the surface rapidly. 

Other times, she'd show up after closing hours. Elias always waiting patiently for her.

They've grown an understanding of each other, a routine. While Mara realizes that Elias is more than just a lost voice, Elias finds that Mara is more than droll remarks. She'd even bought him flowers for Valentine's day, and he'd bought her a box of chocolates in return.

Having picked off one of the ruby red petals, Elias now grates it between his fingers, calming his nerves as the chorus of voices encloses him. He fades more buried into the couch cushions, accepting the static around him as reasonable. His Nana Ioanna's house continues to fill with aunts and uncles that Elias hasn't seen in years.

The crowd diverts, scuffling into the aroma-filled dining room as Nana Ioanna beckons them in. Elias lags behind the huddle of pushing people, careful to avoid touching. Flexing his biceps, he loosens the tense muscles, realizing that everything so far has been sufferable.

As Nana says grace before feasting, Elias screws his eyes shut, breathing evenly through his nose. The long maple table fills with his tumultuous family, chairs scraping against the hardwood floor as people sink into the wooden furniture. Plates of gyros and other Greek delicacies are stacked in the center over an ivory table runner.

It isn't until his curious eyes scan each face that his blood runs cold. Before, it had been a mass of people environing him, unable to pick apart their faces. But now, as everyone sits around the same table, he can separate out each family member individually.

His hands begin to tremble, the fork he clutches onto tightly, rattling against the glass plate. He can't seem to drag his eyes away, his eyes locking onto her side profile. Everything about him goes cold as he sets his silverware down, shoving his shaking hands under the table so nobody can see them. Thankfully, the vulgar voices of everyone around him drown out the strangled cry that escapes his lodged throat.

His fists clench together, his whole body vibrating as he digs his nails into the skin of his palms. Deep enough he can feel them striking the rough skin, red half-crescent marks branding it, his ears filling with screeches. The blood rushes to his head, lost inside his mind.

In a flash, he's back in the bedroom, her shaking hands running up his thighs, inching closer to the zipper of his jeans. Her thick black hair that always smelled of cigarette smoke. the way her hazel eyes stared at him with so much lust, her eyes red and dilated. They were alone, nobody could hear his whimpers as she shushed him, overpowering him.

She had cried the entire time, murmuring sorry into his ears as she grazed his skin with her lips, leaving marks all over him. Her tears mixed in with his own as he laid limp and defeated beneath her. His eyes were not even blinking, so terrified he couldn't do anything but watch.

He's brought back to reality as she turns her head, and his cousin Luella's greenish-brown eyes meet him in his panic. She looks at him confused, watching as he stares at her with so much fear, frozen in place. Quirking her eyebrow, she juts her chin out as if to ask what.

He can't move, his mouth opens in mute sobbing. Luella shrugs, looking away as she dismisses him, going back to the conversation with her father. Everyone in the family knows Elias is different, that he doesn't talk anymore. They just don't know why.

Somehow he manages to stumble his way to the bathroom, locking the door as he sinks to the ground. His hands come to the side of his head, clutching his pounding skull. The world around him is titling, turning red, he squeezes his eyes closed to block it all out.

Her face only grows more explicit, feeling her hands gripping the fabric of his t-shirt and stripping him of it, feeling her hands on him. He had followed her into the room under the impression she was going to show him her new jewelry. She always was touchy with him, even when he was little. So when her hand landed on his shoulder, he didn't think anything of it.

It wasn't until she kissed him, pinning him down on the mattress, that he fought it. He struggled beneath her, but he wasn't powerful enough at his age to push her off of him. He realized at that moment how deluded she was, her mind very sick. He couldn't forget the way she cried with him like she was watching herself penetrate him without being able to stop herself.

Slamming his fist against the wall Elias's eyes explode open, tears free-falling down his face in endless rivers, staining his cheeks. Her voice still coursing through his mind, over and over again. I love you, I'm sorry, I love you, I'm sorry. A storm is brewing inside of him, a typhoon of tremors spewing out of him.

Half of him is in reality, the other half stuck on that night.

Hunching over the toilet, he heaves, his chest rising and falling haggardly. He can hear quietly his mothers pleading for him to unlock the door, still lent over the toilet. He doesn't have anything in his stomach to relieve, just coughing up air and spit. His stomach muscles hurt under the straining. With a tired sigh, he leans his head against the wall, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

Somehow he manages to unlock the door behind him, his mother rushing in, shutting it promptly behind her. She goes to reach for him on instinct, but he cowers away, his eyes staring at the ceiling bashfully. She nods, clasping her shaking hands together in her lap.

"Baby, it's okay," Ella whispers, fighting away her own tears at the sight of her breaking down son. His bronze skin has turned a pale gray, his eyes lifeless as they stare towards oblivion.

Grabbing a spare dishrag, she soaks it in cool water. Tentatively she holds it to his skin, dabbing his forehead, ears, and neck with the cool surface. His chest still heaves, tears falling down his face, nausea rolling in crashing waves.

Repeatedly he hunches over the toilet, emptying nothing from his stomach. Ella rubs his back, careful to make her touch light yet comforting. On the outside, she holds a picture of calm. But inside, she is sobbing for her son lost to the corruption inside his head.

"We can go home. I'm so sorry. We shouldn't have come. It's okay, Elias, can you stand?" She whispers, keeping the rag on his skin. Elias shrugs, not wanting her to feel bad because it isn't his mother's fault. None of this is her fault.

They manage to get home, Elias's father supporting his son's limp weight. Folding into a ball on his bed, he brings the navy blue blankets up to his chin, hiding beneath them. He doesn't like to change in front of a mirror anymore, disgusted by his own body, the way he looks. Even in the searing heat of summer he will wear clothes covering every inch of his skin.

Elias stays awake the whole night, too afraid to close his eyes. Even into the next day, while they sting to remain open, he fights the sleep. He doesn't leave his room, just running through the depressive cycles. Over and over again, sinking deeper into the bleakness.

All that hope, lost. 

Valentines day celebrates love, while Elias survives loss. Losing another piece of himself.

---

Authors Note:

Tissues for anyone who needs them, I know I do.

Thoughts? Who do you think assaulted him?

I want to clarify that his mother has no idea what happened to him.

Like, comment, and follow for more.

- ❤ Nia

Edited 3/29/22