Stone Walls (Jercy AU)

PERCY

Shocked didn't even begin to describe how Percy was feeling. It was currently three in the morning and Percy was absolutely restless. He kept replaying the events of last night in his head, having trouble believing that what happened was real.

Jason said he loved him. He said it and Percy couldn't even say it back. Percy had stood there with his mouth open and eyes wide like giant potatoes. In the moment, Percy didn't realize how shocked he seemed until Jason's smile faded and he said goodnight. Percy wanted to shout "wait" but he couldn't seem to get anything out except a whisper. Jason had not come to dinner after what happened in the backyard. Percy didn't see him for the rest of the night really. He tried to be sneaky and put his ear to Jason's door to hear if there was any noise, but he didn't even hear the TV in his room playing.

Percy was definitely feeling guilty. He was also confused. And worried, and shocked, and a whole bunch of other words he can't seem to find in his mind right now. He wanted to just avoid Jason, assuming avoiding it will make it easier. But Jason would obviously come looking for Percy if he avoided him, right?

Percy sighed and got out of bed. He walked to the bathroom, showered, brushed his teeth and got ready for another day of school. When Percy walked into the kitchen, he saw Beryl putting fresh buttery pancakes, smokey bacon and fluffy scrambled eggs on the table for Thalia and herself. However, there was no Jason.

Percy took a seat across from Thalia. "Good morning, Thalia, Mrs. Grace. Um, where's Jason?" 

"Something about being early for a meeting with a teacher," Thalia said.

"You can ride to school with Thalia, honey," Beryl smiled.

"Yeah, and we'll pick up Grover too."

After breakfast, Percy and Thalia headed for her black car. On the ride to pick up Grover at his apartment, Thalia was rather quiet. Percy thought that was really frightening because, well, Thalia was never quiet.

"So, what happened in the backyard last night?" Thalia asked slowly.

"Last n-night?" Percy stuttered, already feeling his face growing red.

"Yeah. With you and Jason?"

"Nothing." Percy could feel the heat rushing to his cheeks and he already knew he was looking as pink as a flower. He turned away from Thalia and looked out of the passenger window, hoping she wouldn't catch a glimpse.

"If you're gonna lie, Perseus, at least be good at it."

Before Percy could defend himself, the car stopped and Grover came trotting outside with his bag slightly open and half a bagel with cream cheese in his mouth. 

"Good morning," Grover blurted, attempting to stuff the bagel into his mouth so he can buckle himself.

"Late again, are we?" Percy laughed.

Thalia started the car. "Grover, you won't even guess what happened."

"Thalia." Percy said sternly, regaining a perfectly pink blush across his cheeks.

♡♡♡

Scolding Thalia and trying to stop her from telling Grover anything was an absolute failure. She blurted out all of last night's events to Grover, leaving Percy to feel like he was baking in an oven. Grover laughed at all of it, saying it was the most corny but cutest thing he ever heard of. However, what they didn't know was that Percy didn't say anything back to Jason, and that's why Jason has been avoiding him.

Percy didn't see Jason all day at school - not in the hallways, not in their Greek mythology class and not on the football field. Maybe Jason didn't want to be around Percy anymore and that made Percy's heart sink. He regretted not being able to tell Jason he felt the same. He regretted making Jason feel like his feelings weren't valid. 

After school, Percy rode the bus to Dr. Chiron's building for their second session this week. He knew this was something he would have to let out and Dr. Chiron had to be the perfect person to rant to. If it wasn't for him, Percy probably would have never stopped blaming his mother for leaving him or blaming himself for staying with Gabe all those years.

"Good afternoon, Percy," Dr. Chiron said happily when he opened the door. "Please take a seat."

Percy returned the smile, "Good afternoon, Dr. Chiron." He sat on a suede gray chair across from Dr. Chiron's white suede chair.

"How have you been doing?" Chiron asked.

Percy took a breath. "I'm doing alright."

"Just alright? What's going on, my boy?"

"I'm gay, sir."

"Yes, we've discussed that and that it's more than okay. It doesn't make you any less of a person, Percy."

"Yeah, I know. But I've never like had any interaction with another guy you know? Like, I've never had strong feelings for any of them or had any guy come up to me and say 'Hey, I like you, do you like me?'"

Dr. Chiron nodded. "I understand that can be a bit awkward."

Percy slouched back in the chair. "It's even more awkward when he's your best friends brother."

"Ah, Jason," Dr. Chiron said. "Did Jason say 'Hey, I like you, do you like me?'"

"Worse."

"How so, Percy?"

"He said he loves me. And you know what I said back to him? Nothing."

Dr. Chiron laughed softly. "I think you're just scared, son."

Percy cocked his head to the side confusingly. "What would I be scared of, Chiron? I've known him since Thalia and I met when we were kids. I'm staying in his house with his family. I see him everyday. He's my friend."

"That's not what I mean, Perseus." Dr. Chiron smiled softly. "You're scared to make yourself vulnerable again. The last time you were vulnerable was when your mother passed. Gabe took your grief and used it against you. He abused you and made you feel like you were worthless. You learned to build these walls all around you so no one can hurt you again. You're scared of getting hurt again, son."

Percy could practically feel the gears turning in his head as Chiron explained it to him. He is scared. He's scared Jason was lying. He's scared Jason would get tired of him one day. He's scared Jason only felt this way out of pity and the second Percy was better, Jason would leave and things wouldn't be the same anymore. He's scared to lose someone he loves again.

"Do you think he meant what he said?" Percy asked Dr. Chiron pleadingly.

"Well, I can't answer that. I have never met Jason. I only know what you tell me about him."

"Should I give it a chance? Admit my feelings, too?"

"Only if you're ready to open up again."

"Do you think I'm ready, Chiron?"

Dr. Chiron sighed and stroked his salt and pepper beard. "Percy, my boy, you've come a long way in the past few months. I'm proud of you and I am sure your mother is, as well. I think you are ready to take the next step. I believe it is time to put down those walls completely and let the people you love in."