Repeat After Me

Chapter 23

I went back to the demolition site on Saturday. Restrictions had been eased and finally people were allowed to have five others over. Mum and dad's friends Peter and Jan asked them over to their house in Caulfield. They had a tennis court – so they took Josh so they could play a few rounds of tennis. I said I had school work to catch up on, which was true, except that I seemed to be falling further and further behind. Angst about Asten had become a blocker to getting study done. I missed him and spent half my time daydreaming out my window, wanting desperately for him to text me, just so I could feel furious and uncertain when he did.

He messaged every few days. Small things, just to make sure I was still there. 'I've been thinking of you,' 'hope you're enjoying this gorgeous day', 'thank goodness restrictions are easing – but don't you miss the lockdown days?' I downloaded Zoe Foster Blake's Break Up Boss on my phone and read blog posts on disengaging from unhealthy relationships, I listened to a meditation on breaking away from toxic people and TikTok videos on #breakup. Slowly I made myself feel more and more distant and happier and happier that I'd walked away.

I put the finishing touches on my work at the old tram factory and stood back to assess it. It was slightly rough in places, the figures weren't as polished as I would've liked, but the umbrellas made a statement. I'd used the whole space and I was pleased by how the yellow paint had turned out, rain the colour of lemons.