Repeat After Me

Chapter 33

It was getting close to the school holidays and I needed to confirm with Pigmentation whether I could be her studio assistant. I had to tell my parents about this opportunity.

'I was hoping to talk to both of you,' I squeaked, as they were tidying up in the kitchen after lunch one Saturday. 'Can we sit down?'

'This sounds serious,' dad said. They both sat down at the table.

'I've met an artist, she's amazing, her career is going really well. She's looking for a studio assistant and she's asked if I'd be interested.'

'What's her name?' dad asked.

'Pigmentation.'

'That's a strange name,' mum said.

'It's not her real name. Actually I don't know her real name, I'll have to ask. She's really big; she's getting commissions over in Asia and everything. It would be a really good opportunity for me to work with someone like her.'

My parents shared a look with each other.

'It's not this street art thing, is it?' dad asked.

'Well, kind of, but it's going beyond street art now. She's getting commissions and exhibiting in galleries.'

'Where did you meet her?' mum asked.

'Through a friend.'

'Which friend?'

'Just a friend, okay?'

'Why are you always so secretive? How can we trust this?' mum asked.

'Maybe you could meet her and check her out. She's really normal ... I mean ... she's like in her late thirties or early forties ... she's been working with kids in Manila who live in the slums ... they sort through garbage all day ... I think you'd like her.'

'How do we know what you'll be exposed to in an artist's studio? You're just a kid still ...' mum said. I could feel the troops rising against me. It was going just as I'd feared.

'We don't want to be driving you there all the time,' dad said.

'I'll get myself there and back.'

'Where is it?'

'I have to find out.'

'How do you know you'll be able to get yourself there?'

'But you drive Josh to whatever tournament or training he needs for his tennis, whenever he needs it. How come his training is more important than mine?'

'That's got nothing to do with it.'

'It's got everything to do with it.'

'It will interrupt your schooling too much,' mum said. 'You've got to start getting serious about your study soon, if you want to get into university. We've always said that you don't need a part time job. We'd prefer you concentrate on your education. We give you enough money.'

'It's not about the money. It's about the experience. I knew you two wouldn't get it.' I stood up. 'I'm saying yes. This is really important to me. I'm saying yes.'

'Not while you live here,' mum said.

'Then I'm not going to live in this hell hole,' I said. 'All you care about is Josh and his tennis and dad and the stupid football team. Maybe I have talent too. Maybe I'm even more talented than Josh. But how would you know? I'm invisible.'

Dad stood up, trying to calm the situation. He went to talk, but I didn't care, my voice was a street-car rattling up a hill.

'You go to Josh's country tournaments because you don't want to miss out on his games. But, guess what? You've missed out on my whole life.'

Mum stood up. 'You're a selfish bitch,' she said.

'Stop it, Gillian. It doesn't help to speak like that ...'

'How dare she ... ' I heard mum say as I fled upstairs and grabbed my phone and wallet and backpack. I fled from my own body. I watched this girl flee from this house where she came home as a newborn, cried in her cot, sucked her thumb and grew limbs that became so useless because she wasn't a champion on the tennis court. Her parents' dumb-struck faces came out of the kitchen, words pelted down on her, but she wasn't listening. Her hand was on the doorknob. She opened the door and she was free.