Repeat After Me

Chapter 44

I went up to my room and called dad on FaceTime. He was sitting up in the hotel bed, pillows supporting his back, against a grey-padded bedhead. I could see a framed photograph of the sea behind him and a white lamp on a bedside table.

'Hi dad,' I said.

'Hi.' His voice was flat.

'You're staying in a hotel?'

'Yes, Ivy. I couldn't risk it.' His eyes were looking more upwards on the phone, than straight at my face.

'Sorry you felt like you had to do that.'

'There will be another outbreak out of this, you know that, don't you?'

'Dad, we don't know that ... it was important ...' I began.

'No Ivy. Getting the virus under control and the economy back up and running, that's what's important. Not getting together with a bunch of virtue signalling lefties and chanting slogans.'

'There were lots of older people there, dad. They felt like it mattered too.'

'No one has anything else to do, that's why they were there Ivy. People are killed every day in Sudan and no one is protesting about them.'

'You care more about that football team than you do for us,' I said.

'How dare you, Ivy,' dad said. 'That football team pays our bills.'

'They've also reduced your hours and put you under house arrest,' I said. 'Is it worth it?'

'Don't speak to me like that,' dad said. 'You won't understand any of this until you're older. One day you'll want to apologise for that comment. One day, when you have children and work pressure of your own, you'll understand then. You're too self-centred now. I have to go.'

Dad disappeared from the screen of my phone. I stared at my wall. Existence is a compromise. Please the boss who pays the bills, even though he has unfair expectations. Please the girlfriend who torments you. Try to please the parents who doubt you.