My Depp Diary

👨‍👧💕License To Die🚗🚓

Dear Diary,

Johnny and I have a daughter named Gracie and she's the heart of our home. Lily-Rose and Jack are killing it at being a big brother and sister and come over almost every weekend to be with her. However, Gracie is now five years old and she's still learning about the world around her. Combine that with her... I guess you could say unique(?) outlook on life and it can sometimes be a disaster...

On her first day of preschool, she refused to let go of the teacher's leg because she thought we'd abandoned her earlier that day. She claimed her teacher was now her Mommy and the stuffed teddy bear in the corner was her Daddy and that Johnny and I were too late to win her back.

When my great-aunt Doris passed away, Johnny and I were preparing for the funeral when Gracie brought us her rubber ducky rain boots. When we asked why she was giving them to us, she said we would need them if we were going to stand in a gravy-yard. She assumed a graveyard was just a yard with gravy flooding it!

Suffice it to say, little Gracie had a strange way of seeing the world. I tell Johnny she gets it from his side of the family... he begs to differ. Although, what Gracie pulled today was her biggest misunderstanding yet. Apparently, it all started when Johnny was picking up Gracie from school on Friday...

⚘Johnny's P.O.V⚘

"Shouldn't we have gotten an ice cream for mommy too?" Gracie looked up at me from the back seat.

"No, it would've melted by the time we got home" I told her, staring at her in the rear view mirror. "Besides Mommy doesn't know that Daddy gave you ice cream and I think we should keep it that way, don't you?"

"That's lying" Gracie told me.

"No, it's lying if you tell someone something that isn't true" I explained. "If you don't say anything then it's keeping a secret. Understand?"

"I guess..." Gracie shrugged, enjoying her ice cream.

Suddenly I heard sirens and flashing lights behind me. My eyes widened.

"Uh-oh! It's the fuzz!" Gracie exclaimed. "The jig is up!"

"Hush, baby" I told her, pulling over. "There is no jig... and where did you hear the term 'The Fuzz'?"

"Uncle Alice and Uncle Joe" Gracie answered.

"I'm gonna kill those two..." I muttered.

The cop got out of his crusier and walked up to my car. I slowly rolled down the window.

"Where are you coming from, Mr. Depp?" The cop asked him.

"I was just coming back from picking up my daughter from preschool" I nodded to the back seat.

The cop peered into the back seat and waved to Gracie. "Hello, sweetie" He said.

"He told me to lie to my Mommy!" Gracie spilled her little guts. "I didn't want to! I just wanted ice cream! Please don't take me to jail! I'm too cute!"

My eyes widened. "Grace Elizabeth Depp!" I scolded under my breath.

"You know you were going a hundred in an eighty-five mile zone?" The cop asked.