30. I'm scared.

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The next morning when I woke up I felt light as if a lot of weight had been lifted off my shoulders, I could not describe the feeling I experienced when I saw his head resting against the headboard just like last time but this time my head was in ...

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The next morning when I woke up I felt light as if a lot of weight had been lifted off my shoulders, I could not describe the feeling I experienced when I saw his head resting against the headboard just like last time but this time my head was in his lap. 

My hand was still in his hand and his fingers were still on my hair. I felt so cosy as if all my fears evaporated right then and there.

I cautiously got up from my bed and went to the bathroom. I washed my face and brushed my teeth with a careful hand. I did not want to wake him up, I'd once again spoiled his night. He was too generous to be real.

As I made my way to the kitchen, the balloons made me remember last night and Kia's hurt face. I sighed as I sat at my dinner table with my head down. The next moment I felt a hand on my head. I was about to jump up from my seat when I saw it was Mama. 

She gently took my hand pulling me towards the couch."Come sit with me, dear." I felt so safe with her. Just being with her made me feel calm and my mind became clear. She picked up a bottle of coconut oil and poured it into a small bowl. She took some in her hand and began massaging my scalp with it.

"You know Amara, Kia's Mama died while giving birth to her."Kia's name brought a lump in my throat and I couldn't control my tears. I was shocked. I couldn't believe what she had just told me. 

"Nico believes it's him who's the culprit of Kia since he couldn't save Amara." I looked up at her, she gently smiled at me."Nico and Amara had the same blood group but he had to go to a meeting in Asia and he got late. We lost her and till the day he believes it's his mistake, only if he had reached the hospital in time, Kia's mom would be with us."

I never thought Nicolas had such huge guilt on his heart. It was shocking, how he felt so guilty for something which he could not control.

"But Mama it's not his mistake. He didn't know something like that'd happen.", I said to her with a sigh.

"Exactly my child, He didn't know just like how you didn't." She gently placed my head in her lap."Whatever happened wasn't in your control. Neither Nico nor you, we can't be the reasons for our loved one's death."

"Mama she tried to tell me he was wrong still I fought with her and went with him. If only..", I trailed down as I felt her wipe my tears.

"No, Ari." She shook her head."Your Mumma was protecting you, it was all in destiny. Amara was given the choice too.", she smiled at the memory."She chose Kia. Your Mumma did the same, she was an angel sent for another angel."

I felt tears in my eyes as a pang of huge guilt began to rid off of my mind. I cried in her embrace, my brain repeatedly thanking God to send Mama for me.

She pulled back and softly wiped my tears again and for that minute I could see a glimpse of Mumma in Mama.

"Amore.", I heard his panicked voice come from the bedroom."Jesus Christ! Where do I find..oh..you're here." He said once he came closer to the living room. I turned to him and smiled."I'm okay."

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