Red in my Ledger

Chapter Twenty

Stark planned his party on Friday night.
The day you had the discussion over breakfast was Tuesday.
It was now Thursday, and you realised you had nothing to wear to the party. You didn't have any other clothes either, and had been borrowing from the others for the last couple of days.
Natasha came to see you in the morning.
—
I was sitting on my bed, flicking through channels on the TV in my room.
After a while, there was a knock on the door.
"Who is it?" I called.
There was no answer - Nat just pushed open the door and stepped in.
I hadn't spoken to her much. I didn't have much I could say without getting mad again.
I kept telling myself it wasn't even completely her fault, but I just couldn't forgive her yet.
"What do you want?" I asked, turning back to the TV.
"I'm taking Yelena shopping today. For clothes, and a dress for tomorrow. You need the same sort of things so I thought you could with us?" she suggested.
"It would just be the three of us?"
"Yeah. Just us girls. Do you want to?"
I had nothing else to do today. I needed to go shopping. I wasn't sure if I wanted to go with them.
I couldn't think of an excuse not to.
"Sure. When are we leaving?"
"About half an hour" Nat smiled, then left.
She didn't shut the door behind her.
I sighed with annoyance and got up to close it myself.
Just before I did, I saw that Natasha hadn't gotten very far.
She was standing, laughing, flirting I think, with Steve.
I rolled my eyes and slammed the door shut, then collapsed onto my bed.
I was so unbelievably bored for the next ten minutes that I found myself impatiently waiting to go shopping.
After five more minutes, I decided to leave my room.
I went down to the lab where Tony was working.
"Hello Tony" I said as I walked in.
"Hey kiddo. You okay?"
"Mhm."
I jumped up to sit on a desk as he moved 3D projections and holograms around in the air.
"You got any plans today?" he asked.
"Shopping with Natasha and Yelena."
"Oh Romanoff mentioned she was going out. Do you need money?"
"Um, I guess so."
"You can take my credit card."
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah, of course. I'm a billionaire, remember?"
"Thanks Tony. Do you want me to get anything for you?"
"No that's okay. Just go enjoy yourself."
"Mhm."
I sat in silence and watched Tony work until Natasha eventually found me.
"There you are" she remarked. "You ready to go?"
"Yeah. Bye Tony."
"Bye y/n" Tony waved.
———
I sat in the dressing room as Yelena and Natasha tried on dresses for the party tomorrow.
Yelena came out wearing one of the dresses that Nat had picked for her.
"Is Natasha around?" she asked.
"She's still changing" I told her. "... you look very pretty Lena."
"Thank you. You're not trying anything on?"
"Didn't find anything I liked."
She didn't say anything before Natasha stepped out of her changing room.
"Yelena you look great" she said immediately.
"Thanks, so do you" Yelena smiled.
Natasha looked at me.
"Looks good Nat."
"Have you found anything?"
I simply shook my head.
"Do you need help looking?"
I didn't really want to try any on. But I suppose I did need to find one eventually.
I shrugged, hoping she would take it as a yes. She did.
"Let me change, and I'll help you look, okay?"
"Okay."
Yelena and Natasha got changed into their own clothes, then we started looking around the store again.
Eventually, I found a dress I liked. It was red and silk, and it looked so nice.
Yelena noticed that I had paused to look at it.
"Try it on" she said.
I nodded and Yelena returned to the changing room with me again.
I changed into the dress.
I pulled the straps up over my shoulders.
I stared at myself in the mirror.
—
Yelena was waiting for you to get ready.
You were taking a while.
"Y/n, are you okay?" she called.
You didn't reply, so she approached the room you were in.
She heard you crying.
"Y/n?" she pulled back the curtain, revealing you watching your reflection in the mirror as the tears quietly fell across your cheeks.
"What's wrong? ... you look amazing."
You shook your head.
Yelena noticed you holding your arms, looking at them and your legs in the mirror.
They were still covered in cuts and bruises. They were healing and fading, but they were still there.
"Y/n? Yelena? You in here?" Nat's voice called.
She appeared moments later.
"Y/n, what's wrong?" She immediately understood when she saw what you were staring at. "Oh y/n I'm sorry."
"I can't do it Nat. I can't go to a party."
"It's okay, we'll figure something out."
———
After I had changed back into my own clothes, I waited patiently for Natasha to buy the dresses for her and Yelena.
Then, we went to get lunch.
We were sitting in the food court; I was working my way through a small plate of fries.
A while later, I saw someone I recognised across the room.
Steve waved and Bucky smiled at me as they made their way to our table.
"Hey girls" Steve greeted us. He went to stand behind Natasha's chair, and he hugged her from behind.
I saw her blush and giggle a little.
I held back from rolling my eyes at them.
But then Bucky did the same thing to me.
I sat up straighter in my chair, and turned my head to look at him.
"What are you doing Weiner?" I whispered to him.
"Just saying hello."
"Hi... what are you doing here?"
He pulled up a chair and sat next to me.
"I'm shopping with Steve. Are you having fun with the girls?"
"Hm. Not really."
"Oh I'm sorry."
"Can I come with you guys? I don't think I can look at dresses anymore."
"Of course you can."
I looked over at Steve to ask if he was okay with it, but he was mid conversation with Natasha.
"Maybe I'll just swap places with Steve" I joked.
He looked up at the mention of his name.
"You don't mind if y/n comes with us?" Bucky asked.
"No, that's fine" he nodded, then looked back at Natasha. "I'll see you later."
"Okay, bye" Nat waved.
Bucky picked up my hand and we stood up.
"Bye y/n" Natasha waved at me too.
"Bye Nat. Bye Yelena" I said.
I walked off with Bucky and Steve.
"So you haven't bought anything yet?" Bucky noticed I had no bags.
"No. But Tony gave me his card, so if I see anything I want then I can buy it."
—
You walked around for about an hour.
Bucky was buying clothes, because similarly to you, he didn't have any.
You found a few outfits too.
You were pretty much done with shopping, but Steve said he had one more place he wanted to go.
"A jewellery store?" you questioned as you and Bucky followed him into the shop.
Steve started to look around, and Bucky went with him.
You were standing by the door, but they were taking so long that you decided to look around on your own.
Bucky watched you as you browsed around admiring the rings and bracelets and necklaces.
He saw you pause by one of the glass cases. Inside was a necklace. But you moved on pretty quickly when you saw the price attached to it.
You headed over to the guys. Steve had been looking at the same necklace for about five minutes.
"He's taking ages" Bucky complained.
"Is that for Natasha?" you wondered.
"What? I-" Steve wasn't fooling anyone. "Do you think she'd like it?"
"I think she'd appreciate anything coming from you."
"Really?"
"Yeah, she seems to really like you" you said. "And she'd like that necklace."
"You think?"
"Mhm."
"You're not just saying it so I hurry up?"
"That may factor into it" you admitted. "But yeah I think you should buy it."
So Steve bought it.
You didn't tell him that you knew nothing about jewellery, and had no idea whether Nat would really like it or not. But it would work out, because it was obvious that they liked each other.
You returned to the tower with the guys, as you never ran into the girls again.
It turns out they had beat you home.
You ran into them and Tony in the living room.
"Hey guys. Hi y/n" Tony greeted you.
"Hey Tony" you nodded, and handed him back his credit card.
You quickly turned to go back to your room.
"Oh by the way y/n" Natasha called. "We left something for you on your bed."
"We hope you like it" Yelena smiled.
You hurried back to your room and put the bags on the floor.
There was a bag on the bed, with a sticky note on it.
"In case you reconsider coming to the party."
You opened the bag and emptied it onto the bed.
You couldn't help smiling a little at what was inside.