Mostly Unlady

Part 37

Hey there mum,

Gigli and Lola are forever done trying to be my friend and I am done trying to be theirs. 

I'm pretty sure that Gigli has started her period too, btw. Lots of girls have. Even so, Lola walks up to me sometimes and asks me what it feels like to bleed all day long from my vagina. She says this with a revolted face, like she doesn't know father time is coming for her, any second now. She should ask Gigli, I should have said, but I don't argue with trolls like her.

Gigli knows about periods for sure. Because I've seen her muff in the change rooms after swimming and it's this angry, furry ball. But she won't say it's puberty, not even when I try to get her to admit it very nicely. Gigli knows that I know, but she prefers to let me feel like I'm the only freak in town.

It didn't help that Nona was all shocked when I told her about my first bleed. Truth is, the very first time it happened wasn't at the swimming pool at all. I know you already know, but I just couldn't bring myself to admit it on paper until now. I was 11 years and 10 months (basically 12) and I hid it from everyone for as long as I could, save from Nona...until I got her reaction. She freaked out, said that I was too young, even though I got this biology book for kids from the library that clearly said a girl could start her period as young as 10 (in some rare cases even younger).

By some miracle, I hardly ever bled again (or barely) until recently, at the pool. Nona has this switch to turn off her brain for when she's decided she knows best. Not even a technician could switch it back on and she told me I read the passage in the book wrong. I took advantage of that and I told her I had not understood periods correctly and that my bleeding was from a football hitting me in the groin. When no big "flow" came, I started to believe in my lie. The correct period age is 13, according to Nona. So now I'm bleeding at the right age and I'm less horrifically ashamed, I guess. Just ashamed. Ashamed and mortified.

At school I'm now openly telling the girls (not Elena) to stay away from me.

I have a new plan. I'll be friends with the boys because they don't give two figs about periods and they only have one direction, football, football and more football.

Where the football is, is where I'll be and to hell with the others (save Elena)

Xxx Zelia

Zelia has given up on making friends among those of her gender. Have you experienced a similar shift during your childhood or adolescence? Vote and share your stories. All are welcome, including extra-terrestrials with a relevant life-experience 🥰🥰🥰🥰

Work of art by Nadezhda Moryak (Pexels)