𝐅𝐈𝐍𝐃𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐖𝐀𝐘 𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐊

|12| I shouldn't have done that

I think it was a really nice day, I'm in a pretty good mood, something that doesn't happen very often. I'm currently watching the guys and girls training. But for once, I focus on the girls, they are really talented and their acrobatics are absolutely amazing.

I know the choreography fairly well because I have always been staying during their practice since the start of the year. Besides, I have always used dance to distract myself from my thoughts. When I was in France, when possible, Camila and I were cheerleading together by phone call. I helped her and encouraged her by doing the rehearsals with her, and she helped me change my mind and made me play sports at the same time.

I feel that I want to train with them more and more, but I don't want to join the team either. It's something I can't afford. But to see the girls spending themselves while being happy is something I think I really need.

When the training is finished, the girls and the boys go each to their locker room, except Camila, who joins me in the stands.

"I saw you watching us with envy. Why don't you try to be a cheerleader, I'm sure you will be accepted," she asks me, panting and wiping the sweat from her brow.

"I always told you, I don't want to be a cheerleader," I respond, packing my stuff.

"But I know you love to dance, and you know the choreography by heart. You would be a huge asset to the team," she says to me disconcerted by my refusal.

"No I don't think so, and it's more of a hobby, I prefer to watch the games in the stands. Plus, I don't want to be forced to show up at specific times. Then, if I have impediments it would upset everyone," I tell her, handing her a bottle of water.

"That's a lame excuse, everyone can have impediments." She frowns and drinks half the bottle in one go.

"Whatever, I won't change my mind. And go take a shower, you stink," I say as I start to leave the stands.

"No, come on. No one is there anymore, come and try some tricks with me. I know you've been dying to do it since the beginning of my practice," she says, sticking out her tongue and taking my hand, which makes my bag fall to the ground.

"You are being ridiculous, I don't even have any sports clothes. I'm not going to do things in this outfit. So drop your stupid idea," I say trying to free my hand from her grip.

"I have extra clothes, you're so going to do it with me girl," she exclaims, and I laugh at her excitement.

She runs, gives me sports clothes, and hurries me into the bathroom. We return to the field, she then takes her phone and searches for music while I warm up a bit. She puts on the music for a choreography that we often trained on before. So we both know the movements, we are synchronized, and for a while, I forget everything.

I forget everything so much that I hadn't noticed maybe half of the soccer team, Mia and Nina, arrived and watched us, before they started to clap and whistle.

"It was downright awesome, Ava. You are fantastic!" Shouts James, while I catch my breath.

"Yes, you weren't lying when you said she was good, Camila. You should totally be part of the team," Nina tells me, except I don't really listen to her, my eyes are on Jason who looks at me with apprehension but also with somewhat pride.

"Jay, you didn't tell us that your sister was good at everything. I'm downright for her to encourage us like that for our matches. We will win for sure if she is there," Marco says and winks at me, while most of the boys agree with him.

"You two are a fantastic duo!" Mia says her face beams with joy as I catch my twin's anxious look at the mention of this.

I just stare at them, unable to speak. I didn't want them to see it, it shouldn't have happened. I think I may have turned pale all of a sudden, my breathing is difficult, I start to tremble, and I can no longer think correctly. My vision is blurring, I'm getting too hot. I know what's going on, and I think Jason and Peter got it too.

I start to leave, Jason is quickly by my side as he helps me walk because he understands that I am running out of air and that I'm currently having a panic attack. He quickly brings me into a locker room and puts me with him under the shower, then lets the water run over us. He tries to reassure me, to calm me down, hugging me and soon another pair of arms surround me.

"It's ok Ava, no one is forcing you to do anything, you don't have to be on the team. It's okay, we are here," Peter whispers to me, stroking my wet hair.

"I shouldn't have done that, I'm so sorry. I'm pathetic," I say looking at them, as I meet their worried looks.

"No need to be sorry, it's okay. We all stand together through thick and thin, that's how it works," Peter says firmly, standing up and giving me a towel from his bag.

"I love you. I don't know what I would do without you." I hug them, we drench ourselves a little, the atmosphere still tensed, all because of me.

I really don't.

ELIAS

We are all confused, to say the least.

She was stunning, doing some figures with Camila. I didn't know she was this talented. But it all turned weird when she saw all of us watching her. I saw her face turn pretty pale, and she started to panic, I don't understand why.

I know when I see a panic attack, she was clearly starting to have one. Maybe she has difficulty with people's gaze, like a kind of anxiety whenever she finds herself in a situation where she is the center of attention.

The next thing we know, Jason grabs her and leads her to the locker room, then Peter follows quickly after grabbing his bag.

We are all waiting to understand what's going on. I saw the anxiety in their eyes, and I'm curious, but also worried. It's not the only thing, when Noah arrived with Arthur, and they saw our bewildered faces, they asked us what had happened. Marco explained to them and as soon as he heard the story, he also rushed into the locker rooms.

"Can someone explain the situation to me, I'm really confused right now. Have we done something wrong?" Nina asks us but no one can answer her, we all watch the entrance to the locker room waiting for them to come out.

"I'm as confused as you, but it seems pretty bad because even Peter reacted weirdly. Her brothers are too protective and all I can understand, but if Peter reacted like that, it's that there's something important behind it," Jared says, looking worriedly at the door.

"Yes, but I don't think we will know, not even me, I guess... They have a lot of things they seem to be hiding, and it's not something you want to stick your nose in, believe me," Camila tells us, looking a little sad but also worried, which confuses us more.

We all look at each other, lost in our thoughts, trying to find reasons for what just happened. They indeed seem to hide things, and if even Camila doesn't know them, it must be really important and rather personal. The fact is, I don't see how some cheerleader moves can be so disturbing and lead to this kind of situation.

Finally, after at least fifteen minutes, they leave the locker room, soaked, and all with strange faces. They all seem closed, a little edgy, or even sad. It's rather difficult to decipher their expressions, but something definitely happened to them there.

No one dares to ask questions, but I know everyone wants to. Why are they soaked? What happened? Is it our fault? Is she ok? Yet nobody speaks, and we let them go to the parking lot, picking up their things on the way.

Before he leaves too, Peter turns around and asks us not to talk about tonight again, adding that it's a stupid idea to force Avalon to be a cheerleader because she doesn't want to.

We all start to leave, unable to understand the situation better after we all promise not to talk about this evening. Except my mind can't forget what happened. There are many things I don't know for sure, but I want to know, and I want to help.

Only I'm probably the last person she would come to if she needed help.

I want to be able to understand, I want her to trust me as she did before. I know it's almost impossible, she doesn't want to have to deal with me anymore. I have to understand it once and for all.

There's one thing I'm sure of, I don't want to see that look in her eyes again. This look that seems to have witnessed the worst horrors, is filled with so much sadness. Even if I don't know what could have happened, I know that this thing changed her.

I want to be able to replace it with happiness.