A Hidden Picture

Twenty nine

~ Reed

My stomach feels like a washing machine on the highest setting.

All my anxiety and worry shooting right down to my abdomen, swirling around until it feels like I'm sea sick.

Today's the big game.

We're versing one of the best high school teams in the state, scouts are gonna be there, a shit ton of people are coming.

Fuck. I shake out my arms.

Math tests aren't the only things that make me feel sick.

NYU already offered me a spot, but winning this game will reinforce it for me.

My chance to solidify the possibility of leaving home and starting fresh somewhere else.

I don't get it when people say pressure feels like a bag of bricks on your back.

For me it's never felt like that.

To me it feels more like I'm floating on my back in an ocean, and a heavy bird from the sky flies down and lands on my stomach. Making my body cave into the water and air fill my lungs as I struggle to breathe.

The bird: my father.

If we lose this game he's gonna kick me out before I even get the chance to leave.

We're all in the locker room right now, getting our gear on.

"I gotta go piss I'll be back," I tell Jesse before walking to the bathroom.

With slightly shaky hands I take out my phone and hesitantly go to my contacts.

The phone rings.

C'mon pick up. Pick up.

"Reed?" Annalise's voice registers through the speaker.

"Hey," I say back while leaning against the sink.

"Why are you calling me? Shouldn't you be- you know- like doing football stuff before the game?"

I smile to myself. Her lack of sports knowledge makes me laugh.

"Yeah...football stuff. I was just wondering if you're coming to the game." Her silence makes me continue. "And Ro and Blake, you know."

"Um...yeah Ro's driving us, why?," she asks.

I shake my head even though she can't see me. "No reason. Okay, gotta go, bye." With that, I hang up before she could say anything else.

I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding in and rub my forehead.

Why did I just do that?

I sigh into my hands.

After the football game there's gonna be a party at one of the player's house. Whether we win or lose, someone throws a party no matter what.

"Yo, we gotta go, coach is waiting." When I look up I see Jesse looking at me with his hands gestured outwards, waiting.

I nod. "Okay."

A second passes by and I don't move.

"It's gonna be fine," he tells me.

I stare at him with a blank expression before nodding. "Yeah." Don't worry. Block out the worry. It's gonna be fine.

With that said, I follow him out.

~

We're half way through the game and they're five points ahead of us.