chapter 20- hi, again

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Hi.

It's been so long.

2 whole years since I've been hospitalised for the second time. I'm 18 now. Gosh time has just flown by.

That night still haunts me. The spine-chilling screams from my parents as they saw their daughter in so much pain.

I heard every word they said. They probably thought I couldn't hear them, but I could, I heard every single word.

The regrets of my father for not engaging more in his daughter's life.

The apologies of my mother for not being good enough and not taking enough care for me.

They're wrong. They're amazing.

The promise of Jacob, saying he'd come back. Liar. He never once visited me. He told me to trust him, but how can I? He's never once called, nor texted me.

He fully ghosted me.

I thought I meant something to him. I guess not.

Anyways, that day that I was hospitalised the doctors said that the cancer was back and that it's worsened. Since then it has developed to stage 4 cancer.

It's spread throughout my body but I'm still fighting. One thing for sure is that I'll keep up the fight till the very end.

However, the condition I was in was horrible. I really thought I would die. It pains me to think back to that day. I started writing sets of 'open when...' letters for different people because I was so certain I would pass away.

Thankfully, I'm okay, I'm healthy and I'm ready to end my cancer journey and start a life where cancer doesn't define me.

I'll stay strong because I have hope. I'm hopeful. Always have been, always will be.

I stand up from my hospital bed and freshen up as I'm going to the mall today.

I walk out of the hospital and greet all the hospital staff that I've come to know and love.

"Hey Geraldine!" I wave at her

"Scott, hi," I wink.

"Pedro, what's good?" I shoot my fingers at him.

"Mrs Lee, how art thee?" I bow down.

"Shanice!" I yell.

"Temi, up top."

I guess you can say that I'm kind of a popular girl here at the hospital.

I walk out the hospital doors and greet my mother, who's waiting in her car with a huge wave.

"Hi, darling"

"Hey, mom." I laugh heartily as I embrace her.

"Are you okay? You're not too cold are you, or are you too hot?" She interrogates me.

"I'm fine, I promise." I say giving her a soft smile.

She begins driving to the mall and we arrive fairly quickly. I open the door and inhale the fresh air around me. It's nice to be able to breathe real air and not the hospital air that smells depressing.

I walk into the mall for the first time in years and reminisce in all the memories I've made here.

I go up the escalator while my mom goes into another store so she can do her shopping.

I walk around a bit and I spot someone with a familiar back profile.

Fluffy hair, tall frame, broad shoulders.

Oh no.

He turns around and his eyes widen once he sees me. It's Jacob.

I turn away from him and gather myself. I begin walking as fast as I possibly can and try and get far away from him.

He begins following me.

Two can play this game.

I walk faster. Twisting and turning the direction so that he won't be able to catch up to me.

"Valerie!" He says in his deep, husky voice.

He begins running up to me and catches up with my speed running. He grabs my shoulder and I turn around.

"Hey, Jacob," I say sheepishly, avoiding eye contact because I don't think I can handle looking into his eyes after he ghosted me.

"You're- you're okay!" He smiles heartily and hugs me.

His warmth.

His warmth that I've longed for. I finally have it.

I push away from him, breaking the hug as I can't forgive him.

"What's wrong?" He asks me, furrowing his bushy eyebrows in confusion.

"You think you can just hug me? After 2 years without you contacting me and you think it's appropriate to hug me," I reprimand him, "Who raised you?!"

I realise what I just said. He wasn't raised by someone. He raised himself. He survived.

How could I be stupid enough to say that?

I see his eyes dull after I said what I said. This makes my heart ache.

"I- I'm sorry," I say, looking towards the ground.

"I thought you died, Valerie." He says.

That hit me like a ton of bricks.

He thought I died. He spent 2 whole years thinking I died. I can only imagine how that must have been and how he must feel now seeing that I'm alive. I feel horrible.

I don't even say anything in response, I just hug him even harder than he hugged me. I love his hugs. They soothe me, they calm me. He reminds me of a good scented candle placed upon an open fireplace.

He places his hands around my waist tightly. If that's what makes him feel comfortable then so be it.

He looks at me and he doesn't judge me or anything, he just looks at me with kind eyes.

That's all I need, someone who won't judge me, someone who makes me feel safe and I make them feel safe too. Someone who understands me and what I've been through. Jacob Hiell really is all I need.

He begins to talk.

"Hey, want to go somewhere?"

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