The Boy She Saw in the Hospital

chapter 22- teens for a night

I sigh as I lie down next to Jacob. I'm getting déjà vú.

Of course he would take me to our signature stargazing spot, I should have expected it. Just like old times.

"We can be teens for a night here," Jacob starts speaking. "It's our safe place to do what we want because we haven't lived a normal teenage life."

"Cheers to that," I laugh breathily.

The stars look alluring. So does Jacob as he lays vulnerable, at the mercy of the luminous night sky.

"Hey, what do you want to be when you're older?" He asks me randomly.

"An oncologist," I answer his question, "I want to help people who are in the same position as mine, I want them to have hope so they can recover quickly."

"That's actually really sweet of you, Stalker." He teases me, giving me a smug smirk.

"Okay, Tulip Man," I fire back, "What about you? What do you want to do?"

"Nothing, I'm lazy," He jokes.

"No, be serious." I say, wanting to know what he wants to do with his life.

"I want to be your husband." He says.

My eyes widen and my cheeks become stained with the colour red. 

This guy is on hard drugs. I'm talking about ecstasy.

He laughs under his hoarse breath.

"How do you view death?" He says arbitrarily. That was a hard hitting question. Also, when did this become a Q&A? Like what is this an interview?

"Death isn't just one thing that happens and is over with. That description fits life more. Death is eternal. I mean that's how I view it. Death brings joy and pain. In my opinion life should be viewed as death is. The end. Death is the beginning. A new life, a fresh new start. Its beauty is unmatched. I imagine it feels like stars bursting, a million smiles and just pure happiness."

I ramble on and on and feel embarrassed when I realise how long I've been talking. Jacob notices.

"You're so cool," He says, "I look up to you."

"You look up to me?" I question him jokingly, "You're like 6 foot."

"Yeah and you're 5'7, you're not that short." He shoots back.

We allow the moment to die down as we stare into each other's eyes.

"What am I to you?" He asks with a straight face.

"You're my lover." I say. We both share a surprised expression as even I'm shocked that I said that.

"How come you never told me?" His stares at me with kind eyes and let's go of his straight face.

"I don't need to declare my love for you for you to understand what we are to each other. We're not in a relationship, we're just madly in love yet we never acted on it. Honestly, it's best we never do, we can just love each other from afar. There's no need for labels, it takes away from the essence of true love." I explain thoroughly, "I don't want to live in a world where Jacob Hiell is my boyfriend, I want to live in a world where Jacob Hiell and I both know we love each other. That's all we need. The acknowledgment of our love."

"Valerie, that's- that's really." He tries to speak but he can't pick out the right words.

"It's okay," I say comfortingly. I notice he starts to fidget with his fingers. I stop him and give him my hand to fidget with.

I begin to smile . This smile then develops into a soft and breathy chuckle.

"What's so funny?" Jacob asks, furrowing his eyebrows as he's eager to know what I'm laughing at.

"Nothing it's just, I finally did it." I say.

"Did what?"

"I got through that wall you placed between us. I finally got to know the boy I saw in the hospital." I say with a wide and genuine smile.

A warm tear falls down my check as I reminisce in the journey that me and Jacob went through. From stalking to friendship drama to death scares, he's been with me through and through. He's there for me. I guess I was never lost. Jacob found me. He found me in the end.

I'm so excited to start a life with him. I can't wait till we can share more of our dreams together.

Jacob gives me a warm kiss on the cheek which melts my heart.

I relax in Jacob's arms and feel everything erased from my mind. My mind feels new and fresh. Everything I've been through has been washed away through the help of Jacob. My gratitude is immeasurable.

"I love you, Jacob."

He doesn't say anything back.

The lyrics of 'Space Song' replay faintly in my head. It sounds washed out.

I feel myself slipping away from my senses. Just like what happened 2 years ago.

I feel myself lose the warmth that I've longed for. I feel myself lose the person that found me. I feel myself lose the comfort I feel when I embrace him.

I feel myself lose Jacob.

Goodbye.