Odds And Mirrors (Unedited)

Phakamile

I hate being in love, all of this feels like an inconvenience.
I hate this feeling because despite her lying to me ever since we met, she's never been home alone at the new house.
I know she won't be okay by herself, the house is bigger than our Bryanston place and she refused to sleep in it alone when we were living there.
The last thing I want is her blind, emotional and shaken Louisa Hamilton ass driving at night. There's a possibility that whoever she works for has sent ops agents already but I know they assigned a FIC agent for information, they don't want me dead

God I hate what she's reduced me to.
She betrayed me, and to be honest I don't care much for her being a fic agent, everything MH Holdings is legit
Now because her, the billion Dollar deal she and Nsizwa secured is the most legit.
I truly believe that even if she was sent for sinister work, she grew to love us and hadn't leaked anything, nothing of value anyways because she knows nothing about the dark world

She lied, fuck we're married and building a life together, it was unexpected on both sides but I actually believed that she genuinely loved me enough to be honest if she was an agent.
That's why I didn't push it or ask her directly
I truly believed she wouldn't betray me and when the time came, she'll come out with the truth
Now Linda is missing because I didn't want Danso speaking to her about anything related to Fic and our dark world. It's not the kind of world and life I wanted her to know about if she's not a Fic agent

When I shot the lamp next to her, she didn't even scream, she just held her chest in mild disbelief.
We stared at each other for a while until her blank stare dissappeared and the only thing left was sadness and we just stood like that looking at each other

When her eyes started swimming in unshed tears, I knew I had to leave because I wasn't apologizing for my actions until she told the truth, which she has no intention of coming out with. It's been 30minutes since I left her, I hope now she's ready to talk

We've officially been living in this house for 2 days, we did an amazing job on it. It looks like something straight from a fantasy, I open the door with a heavy heart.

The living room is a mess, I sigh looking at the lamp and the bullet hole on the wall
Fuck this really got out of hand
Her studio is empty, there's a brush on the floor, she must have dropped it when Noxolo called her because she doesn't want a mess in here. I don't really know much about art but she's an okay painter but definitely a better interior designer than painter and writer

I don't see both our phones and I left them on the sofa, there's nothing incriminating on mine so whoever she reports to won't get anything.

Fuck I'm tired, I can't believe this is the night we're having, we barely ever have real fights and now i just feel like shit.

She's not in the library, nor the bedroom or the closet and my stomach drops

"Lesedi!!"

Fuck why is this house this big?

"Lesedi!"

All the cars are still in the garage, so at least she's still on the premises. I have a feeling she maybe outside
The quietness is deafening, I need a shot or ten, this is a mess and a half. She made me promise not to hurt her, now this? Fuck!!

What do I say to Danso?
With how modern this house is, you'd think we would have considered putting the gate intercom upstairs.
I need to call the guys to come install it in our bedroom, the library, and Sedi's studio because why am I now rushing to the kitchen to get the phone.
I know it's Lindzy not because he's Sedi's emergency person but by the constant, relentless buzzing.
Lindzy demands attention naturally

To think of it, before tonight, the last arguement we had was when Sedi asked if it's okay if Lindzy gets the spare key. I don't know if it even counts as an arguement because by the end of it Sedi was digging her nails on my back, screaming my name