Odds And Mirrors (Unedited)

Cyprian Mzimela

The only problem with love is that we love it, we feel entitled to it as if it's not the biggest gift of all.

We pray for it, look for it and occasionally hunt it down because we've glamorized it but with all that we've yet to master it. Songs have been sung, movies made and books written about love, it's the ultimate holy grail
To me, love is only amazing in theory, realistically it's confusing, inconvenient and needs constant refinement for it to flourish. It's a decision, a commitment not just mere feelings

We know how powerful love can be, it can elavate a whole generation and for some reason we've deluded ourselves into thinking we have power over it. Power over the people we love, entitlement over them and if that's not bullshit then I don't know what is.

The biggest problem with my son Phakamile is because of his earlier losses in love, he wanted to control it.
He wanted to make sense of it, the cameras in Lesedi's house was the first indication of it going south, love is senseless but free flowing

One can't just love somebody because they're beautiful, that gets old the more you know someone.
Not because they're funny, day to day living will show you that not everything is a laughing matter.
They'll have days where they're annoying more than anything
Love is to love somebody as they are, as they come, the mood swings, with their incapable nature to express themselves or opening up.
The hormones, their personalities, body and mind
Love them as they are and not who they can be or who they should be but as they are even if who they changes with the years because people outgrow themselves too.
We change and require different things from love so the space and opportunity to grow within that relationship is just as important as the love itself, if not more
Some never live up to their potential, so the biggest mistake in love is not loving and accepting your significant other as they are.
That was Phakamile's only mistake, he fell in love with the idea of her without trying to know her, we're all guilty of that but he made it worse by trying to control everything around her
If he had known her, he would have trusted in her instead of pulling a gun on her

The Mzimelas are a different breed altogether, the Zulus as a tribe are the most royal. The Zulu dialect can be found in most African languages and countries.
Social media has also glamorized the tribe's men, as if they are magical creatures when in reality, the Zulus and Mzimelas included are who they are because of their women
We the Mzimelas have had an unfair advantage for the past 400 years, you would think with all those years we would have learnt by now how to master and protect our love

See you can love somebody and have them love you back but still have not been enough.
Love arising from the individuals needs and attempts is easy to spot even from a distance, you can differentiate it from love that is God given and that is ancestral praised/approved
A union with God in it, is the divine serenity, the true holy grail, the Mzimela hunter and wife is that but Phakamile insisted on denying it
Just the mere fact that he would loudly say his wife was his and not a Mzimela wife, he was dooming her and their union
The Mzimelas would have to prove to him that she was theirs even if it meant taking her away from him to get the massage across
For that, she's been paying the price he put on her

The Mzimela and Gumbi soul tie/pact goes against human nature, it goes against the natural balance of things because truthfully love is willingness and a decision
Love is choosing it every time, it's proving to be the best partner that chooses the other every time even when one is not aware of it

Without fail you have to choose your person every time, I learnt this the hard way because I thought I could pick and choose when to show love and how
When in reality sometimes the other person has nothing to give so you have to bring 100% of that love to the table. It has hardly ever been 50/50, one always gives more depending on the day