Odds And Mirrors (Unedited)

Bantu Gumbi

Since the beginning of time, humans have baffled themselves with this question.
What's the purpose of this life thing. What's the point of it, the suffering, heartache and stress that seems to dominate most of our existence with the occasional visit of love and contentment

I know when they initially said that being black was our biggest sin, they meant it for situations like racism
I don't know why the world general dislikes black people but outside of that
I feel like being African was my biggest sin, because how am I now roped into this generational curse that my family has had with the Mzimelas for centuries

I wanted to be a normal child who was close to his mother and had friends to play with
Instead I was the child that occasionally stared into thin air and spoke with spirits
Who would want to be friends or associated with someone like that, I love the idea of being a parent but shouldn't have a child
It'll be selfish to possibly doom my child to the same fate I'm currently struggling with

My biggest curse was to be born into the Gumbi family
My family and the Mzimelas go way back, 1800's back
For as long as we can remember we the Gumbi's have been working side by side with the Mzimelas in the spiritual world.

My grandfather was the Mzimela Shaman for 50 years and got all this wealth we have today through association with them.
Then my uncle was one shortly after my grandfather passed on.
My uncle killed himself because sanity goes out the window when you can see and speak with the dead in public spaces.
Differentiating between the living and the dead is harder than it should be and takes years to master
Unfortunately for my generation it seems as though I am the unlucky mother fucker.
I even moved to Cape Town and created a nice little life for myself there, hoping that it would be my refuge but you can't hide from spirits

I had hoped I would be able to run away from it but I knew I was doomed when I went under water at the age of 6 and walked out days later as though nothing had happened.
This spiritual stuff is annoying because you become a passanger in your own body and mind
I don't know how best to describe it but my body knew where to go and what to do and it all feels out of body
Even when I look back at it, it's like I'm watching someone else do and say these things

The first time it happened, I was 6, it was after 5 pm because I was waiting for my mother to come back from work.
I felt the urge to go to the river, it was like if I didn't go, the whole world would fall apart.
Upon getting there, I found uncle Skhumbuzo sleeping under a tree.
I knew him as a Mzimela elder, I somehow also knew that he had lost his wife and his brother's wife had died under his protection.
I knew it before it happened because I had dreamt it in detail exactly the way I was later told, on how it happened
I sat there next to him debating on what to do next because I couldn't push a grown man into the heavy current river even though it felt like the only way.

Again, my body knew what to do, I put my hand in his and stood up. He immediately opened his teary eyes and locked at me
He gave me a small nod before standing up and allowing me to lead him into the river.
Logically, I think we entered a trance like sleep and never left the shade under the tree but spiritually we left.
What I can't explain is how no one was able to find us because 3 days later I woke up under that very tree and walked back home, dry and clean.
Uncle Skhumbuzo only woke up when I was out of sight and when I saw him again days later, he didn't know or recognize me.

I can't remember what we did under that river but I remember before we left I said

"It stops with us"

Uncle skhumbuzo nodded once and the next thing, I woke up dry next to him

The Gumbi's are spiritually gifted but we don't do anything for our initiation when entering into that realm.
Our super power is water, it's fluid, unstoppable, life giving and deadly. It's not a coincidence we come from the land that Shaka Zulu himself deemed as home because of its proximity to running water and the ocean