Love and Lies

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If there is one thing my heart remembers all the time, it is to beat——beat for you

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Ken's POV

I don't know what to do anymore. I don't want Rain to get hurt. My days are numbered and i have to move fast. Dad's right! I must beat time before it decides to pack up and wrapped me up with all its shits. But where should i start? Where should i start to make it all right where in fact nothing is right. It is like I'm stuck in the middle of the road not knowing where to go. It is like choosing the right path where nothing is left or choosing the left path where nothing is right. Where should i go?

If i choose the right thing, I'm pretty sure that I'll gonna lose Rain. But if i choose to lie and keep it, nothing will be right. Lying won't justify everything. I'm just hoping i could keep it as long as i can.

I took a deep breath and glance towards Rain's directions. Her eyebrows are knitted together, a sign that she's in a deep thought.

"Are you okay?" I asked while pretending that my focus is on the road.

"Yep!" She even nod in agreement. I tried to drift back my attention in driving.

Rain gently reached for my arms and caressed it affectionately. I glanced her way and gave her a forced smile.

"Are you okay?" She asked back in a soothing voice.

I glance on the road and then look at her again as I slowly nod my head.

"Yep, there's nothing to worry about." was all I said.

She just stare at me for a moment before shrugging her shoulders.

"Okay."

"Hey, i'm really telling the truth. I'm fine. " I insist.

She just gave me a smirk; a sign that she's not convinced.

"If you say so."

I took a deep breath and sigh. How can i forgot that Rain knows me too well? Better yet, if I can't tell the whole truth, then maybe i could give her a little hint of it.

"R-Rain?"

"Yes?"

"What if.. Just what if okay?" I said giving emphasis on Just What If.

I wait for her to nod before giving my piece.

"What if you found out that i am keeping secret from you ?" I couldn't help feeling worried and agitated.

"Why would you keep a secret from me?" She replied while raising an eyebrow.

"Let's say that I just don't want you to be hurt by that secret."

"But wouldn't it will hurt me more knowing you already know about it and you didn't even bother to tell me?" Rain asked confusingly.

I shrugged. Maybe, she's right. But doing the right thing is never that easy.

"What you don't know won't hurt you." I whispered.

"What I didn't know fears me. And fear, Ken, is the most painful thing a person could have. Fear corrupts one's being."

I maneuvered the car at the side of the road and stopped. The tone of anguish in Rain's voice is enough to sent me into never ending haven of guilt.

"Fear isn't always bad, Rain. Fear sometimes saves one from being further hurt and broken. " I tried to reason out.

"Fear limits happiness. I fear to fear anything. "

I took her right hand and placed it in my left chest. Just enough for her to feel my heart beating.

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