Rivals?

Chapter 12

I fell asleep but ended up waking up to something hitting my window. I throw the comforter off of me and fidget with my messy bun as I walk over to the noise. I open the window and look around. 

"Down here." I hear that familiar voice call from the bottom.

"Chase?" I let my eyes focus on him with only one street light shining down on him.

"I just wanted to say sorry. I can understand if you are going through a lot right now. I just really hope you can forgive me. I always had an eye on you and tonight... I finally had the chance to show you. Until... you know." Chase stuffs his hands in his pockets and looks down at his feet. He's wearing the same thing when I first saw him at the party. His hair is messy but he's still so cute.

"So you showed up to my window and threw.. what... rocks to get my attention?" I chuckle. "We aren't in a 90s love story." 

"Dang, yeah... I can see how cringy it is now." He says, slowly looking back up at me. 

"Hold on, I'll meet you outside," I say, closing my window. I put some white slippers on. I'm in a white crop top and white and blue plaid pajama pants with a messy bun. I look like I just crawled out of a grave too. My eyes are puffy and red from crying.

Once I get downstairs, I open the door and meet him standing on the porch. I smile and shut the door behind me. We don't say anything. He nods towards the street. I just assume he means a walk and I nod. He takes my hand and we walk together. 

"It's cold, Kay. You could've put a jacket on." He says, eyeing me up and down.

"Yeah, I see that now. You don't have one either," I say, returning the gaze.

"I don't need one. The embarrassment of driving here, walking up to your window, and talking to you heated me up enough." He says, wrapping his arm around my waist, and pulling me closer as we walk. He's around my brother's height so I only come up to his shoulders.

I've wanted to ask this question since we started walking but my mouth won't open. No matter how hard I try, I can't spit out the words. 

Finally, I broke the silence by asking the question I wanted to ask so badly. "So you've always liked me? Like, fallen in love?" 

He doesn't say anything right away. It worries me. Does he really have to think about the answer?

He finally starts talking but doesn't look at me. He looks ahead of him and says, "Yes, I have. Ever since we started eighth grade I've liked you. You're gorgeous, athletic, smart, sweet, and caring. Nobody sees you like I do. I always wanted to tell you but I was going through some body image issues, mental health problems," He stopped walking and looked into my eyes, his hands back in his pockets, and finished his sentence with, "and self-harm." 

I'm in absolute awe. This guy? Having body image issues and mental health problems? He's gorgeous and fit. He always has been. I look at my feet and speak slowly.

"I'm sorry, Chase. I understand why you could understand me so much. I'm really sorry. Are you doing better now?" I ask, looking back up at him. He doesn't look hurt. He isn't crying. He's stone cold. However, his voice doesn't match his looks.

He speaks softly saying, "Of course I am now. Basketball has pulled me out of that deep metal hole I was in. I had to remind myself I love basketball. I had to keep playing. I never told my parents. Not like they would care anyway. I had to pull myself out of the hole I dug. My scars are healed now." 

A tear drops onto my shirt. "I'm glad you're better now. I'm sorry I couldn't be there for you earlier." I say.

"Don't worry about it. I'm just hoping you'll let me help you. I don't want you to seriously hurt yourself more than you already have." He points at the little spot of skin showing between my crop top and my pants. I pull my pants up again to where you can't see any skin showing. I forgot about wearing my crop top. I get comfortable in my room and I don't care what I'm wearing. At least it's only him. 

"Yeah, thank you. You have definitely made something light up inside me." I say, smiling softly. 

He pulls me into a hug and squeezes me gently. "I wanna take all this slow. I'll always be here for you, no matter what. Although, I can't be in a relationship yet." He whispers in my ear. His deep, tired voice sends shivers down my spine.

"Yeah, me too actually. I'm glad we're on the same page." I say, pulling out of the hug and planting a soft kiss on his cheek. 

Is this even real?

We walk back to my house, he gives me his number and I watch him get into his old, black F-150 and drive off. 

I open the door quietly and shut it even quieter. I tip-toed back upstairs to my room and shut my door. I kick my slippers off and throw myself onto my bed.

"Chase!" I scream into my pillow and try to make myself go back to sleep for school tomorrow. 

I can't.

My heart aches for some reason. I've always found him nice and attractive. Maybe we can make this work. 

Just maybe.