Our Fallout: A Second Chance

Nineteen

Chapter 19:
To lose intentionally

"You seem a bit off." Isla said that made me look at her. "Hmm?" when she sat beside me. "Are you okay?" tanong niya sa akin habang wala ako sa sariling nanonood ng game ng mga ka-team ko.

I wasn't able to answer her question when they whistled for a break. "Hindi ka parin papasok? Patapos na ang set 1." pagod na sabi sa akin ni Sam.

They're losing. The time is running and set 1 is about to end.

"I'll join in the second set." hindi makapaniwalang tumingin sa akin si Sam ng pumito na ulit sila. "What's bothering you? You've been training the past few weeks for this game but I can't see you all hyped up and excited to play." dagdag niyang sinabi.

I don't know what's wrong with me. I had a hard time sleeping ever since the talk with Ali at her celebratory party happened. My body feels so tired and weak.

"Drink this and energize yourself. Get inside the court whenever you feel ready. Don't mind the score and just have fun at your game." ng bigyan niya ako ng ice americano coffee.

Literally one of the strongest bittersweet coffees.

Umalis si Isla dahil mukhang may aasikasuhin ng tumabi din sa akin si Jasmine. "Hindi ka papasok? Aaliyah's pretty worried about you. She's wondering why you're not playing." ng makita ko si Aaliyah sa upper benches.

It's funny how I am using her jacket right now. Siguro pampalubag na naman sa kanya na gusto ko yung jacket.

"Just getting ready. Papasok ako sa second set." sabi ko ng matapos ang set 1. Natalo sila. Natambakan ng score. "It's fine if you will not win. Our basketball team didn't win either so don't pressure yourself." she said while tapping my shoulder.

Our basketball team wasn't able to win the championship but they were in third place.

Tumango sa akin si Sam saka ko hinubad ang jacket ko. She gave me her biggest smile as I approached her. I guess the coffee literally woke every part of my body.

Gusto ko na lang tapusin to.

I thought I was already gaining my momentum when we won the second set but as we were about to end the third set. Aaliyah's face came flashing in my mind.

And do you remember our deal on how we'll exchange my jacket with your varsity shirt as we won the championship together. So here you go and I'll be waiting for your varsity shirt as well because I know you'd crash it.

Napatigil ako.

Our talk that night, her relationship with my cousin, my number, my varsity shirt and her jacket been's clouding me for the whole day.

I want it to stop.

To completely stop everything.

I had enough.

I keep hurting myself through my feelings for her. It's too much already.

I can hear her loud voice cheering at me when suddenly I don't wanna win anymore. I can't give her my varsity shirt. I don't want anything precious and meaningful between us.

I smashed the ball so hard that made me strain my foot due to one mistake— unbalance landing. I moaned for pain trying not to cry when I saw my teammates coming at me.

The game continues until ended and we lost. Sayang nga lang kung pumasok yung smash ko baka kami yung nanalo dahil one point lang ang pagitan namin sa kalaban. Nakahabol sila ng two points nung umalis ako.

Okay naman na yung paa ko. The medic was here to help me. I just stayed to finish the game ngayon pupunta ako sa hospital para sa x-ray at pain meds ko.