Our Fallout: A Second Chance

Twenty Two

Chapter 22:
A space between us

Tahimik na nagtitimpla ng ice coffee si Ali habang pinapanood ko siya. Wala talaga siyang balak na kausapin ako? Huminga ako ng malalim at niligpit na ang pinagkainan ko.

"Are you going to keep ignoring me all day?" hindi ko maiwasang tanong sakanya pero hindi niya parin ako pinapansin. "Ali..." I called her name hoping she'd give me her attention.

"What did I do to you to give me cold treatment?" and that question finally caught her attention. Just like a bomb that exploded in her. "No. Please do tell me, Kirsten!" hamon niyang sabi sa akin.

What?

She scoffed as she walked away from me.

Sinundan ko siya hanggang labas. "No, seriously what is wrong with you?" hindi ko alam pero sa inaasal niya pakiramdam ko sasabog na rin ako sa galit.

I'm trying to avoid any confrontation with her but she's being unreasonable right now.

Anong nagawa ko para magalit siya?

"Was it about the kiss? Because I kissed her? Was that it? For fucking sake, Ali. She's my girlfriend!" and that's when I hit it.

I can't believe I am saying these things to her. I can't even believe we're fighting. Madalang lang kami mag away at nauuwi agad sa pagbabati. We don't ignore each other. We talk it out.

I don't want any serious talk but I had enough. Maybe this friendship isn't friendship anymore. Maybe it was long gone the moment I felt something for her.

"I can't believe you!" she seriously said. "What? Ali, she's my girlfriend. I can kiss her. I can even have sex with her— labas ka na don! Wala kang pakealam! Bestfriend lang kita!" sigaw ko sakanya ng magulat ako sa mga sinabi ko.

She was shocked too. Both of us are shocked.

Gusto kong bawiin sakanya ang mga nasabi ko pero huli na. I felt so damn fucking low! Hindi siya makapaniwalang nakatingin sa akin.

"Do you think I am that low?" she said with so much heaviness. Damn! Fuck it. I fucking ruined it. "I— I'm sorry—" pagbawi ko agad pero umiling siya. She won't be dropping this conversation instantly. I hit her button already.

"No. You listen to me, Kirst. I am trying so hard to save our friendship. I'm fucking trying..." when her voice broke.

Shit.

She's crying. "I wanted to pretend that I am happy for you, for her and for your relationship because your happiness is all I care about that's how much I love you. And I did it... but it pains me to see slowly slipped away from me. You're slowly changing..."

No, this is still the Kirsten you knew. I just wanted to drift away from you to fix my feelings. I can't stay with you knowing how much I love you.

"Ever since she came into your life. You're slowly changing into someone I don't even know anymore. Do you think it makes me happy to see you doing things that'll destroy you?" seryosong tanong niya sa akin.

Doing what?

Does she think being in a relationship with Isla is my way to self destruct?

"You're one of the most responsible person I've known. You prioritize your studies more than going out. And you don't know how much I look up to you kasi sobrang galing at sipag mo sa lahat ng bagay." I didn't know that.

I didn't know how much she looks up to me.

"Sa tingin mo hindi ko malalaman pinaggagawa mo? From escaping, suspensions, failed quizzes scores, absents for no reason, endangering yourself through motorbikes and you even gave up your volleyball championship." napalapit siya sa akin.