Sometimes Hate is Enough

Chapter 34

Arnav

Seven years... yet, I always thought I would see her again. Meet her someday. But never in my life did I think I would meet her like this. In a meeting, as a client... with him. And ever since that day in Mumbai, all I could think about was, Do they love each other?... Are they... together? And only one answer came into my mind: why wouldn't she be? There's... no reason for them not to be together if they want.

I rubbed a hand over my face and huffed out a breath slowly from where I sat on the threshold of the poolside door.

Was it just me... who waited? Who...

A knock sounded on my door. I looked over my shoulder and found Akash standing by the door, looking a little awkward.

"I... didn't have anyone to talk about..." He stopped as he pushed his glasses with a finger, then looked at me before again looking down. "So..."

"Of... Of course, come in." I slowly stood up.

He nodded tightly without looking at me as he walked up to the poolside and stood opposite me.

"S-sit." I offered, motioning at the chair on the other side of where we now stood.

He looked around the place before hesitantly suggesting and pointing at the threshold, "Let's sit here." I lightly licked my dry lips before nodding and motioning for him to sit down.

It's been 15 minutes since we have been sitting here and doing nothing. We—two brothers—were not anymore very comfortable with each other but were still in need of each other's company because we didn't actually have anyone else to talk about how we felt, but we knew how we felt. And yet, we said nothing. Because we might be brothers who grew up in the same house and lived together for the majority of our lives, but we were still distant and... lonely. And we knew this. But we—at least, I was too proud to admit it.

"I... never, ever in my life thought that I could ever meet her again." He spoke quietly as I heard his voice crack a little. "and that too, like this... as strangers."

I felt an ache inside me as I unblinkingly stared at the pool water glittering under the night sky before finally turning to him.

"She... hasn't forgiven me. She'll never... forgive me. I... saw that in her eyes." He looked at me with tears in his eyes. "She... moved on."

I opened my mouth to say something but closed it as I realized that I didn't have anything to offer that could possibly lessen his pain.

"I should have been brave. I... should have done what I actually wanted. I should've taken hold of my life sooner, than maybe, maybe, she would've been with me right now." He looked away as he took off his glasses and rubbed his tears off with the back of his hand. "You know, Bhai, when we went to Lucknow, she... was trying to help me realize that I should be taking charge of my life, but I... I didn't pay any attention to it. I thought she was not understanding what I wanted to say. I thought she didn't love me enough."

He shook his head, and I heard the disbelief in his voice as he continued, "I had even questioned her feelings for me. I had... literally seen the hurt in her eyes, but I still chose to ignore it. And ever since I realized what I had done, I have been thinking about what I should say that could possibly make her believe me again, and I found nothing. Because it's too late."