Home Sweet Girl

Chapter | Thirty one

Maryanne

I'm in the arms of mommy as she cradles me. Mommy. She is pretty and smells good.  I feel like I'm in a bubble and it's just me and her. I touch her soft hair that has come out of her ponytail. She smiles at me. Her eyes that look like our pool water are red and has tears in them. Is she sad?. I wipe away the tears that fall from her face.

I giggle when she kisses me. It tickles my face.

"Can you say mommy again?" She ask. I laugh and shake my head. She is funny. I yawn and rub my eyes. I think I'm getting sleepy.

"Mmm tired," I announce. Mommy stops me from rubbing my eyes by moving my hands and starts rocking me.

"Nanna (sleep) My baby," She makes shushing sounds, while rubbing my cheek. "Close your eyes," she says. I sigh deeply. My eyes feel like someone put something heavy on them. As the blackness covers them, I fall asleep instantly.

I begin to dream about a mermaid like Ariel is singing to me. She is singing my favorite song 'part of your world'. It flows into my ears like an echo, Then it turns into humming. Once I became aware that I'm in between dream land and reality, I shuffle and jerk out of my sleep. The moment I open my eyes, Angeline is holding me and humming the same tune. What happened?. My head feels funny.

"Are you okay?" She ask with a knitted brow expression.  I shake my head and close my eyes. Expecting this to be a dream also.

"Don't know".I have glimpses of earlier  reappearing from the back of my mind. It is a reaccurance whenever I experience these espisode. A part of me stored away, while the other part takes control. I can't explain it. It's like daydreaming and eating at the same time. You don't realize that you are doing it. And before you know it, The food is all gone.

"Look at me, sweetheart,". I open my eyes again and gape at her. I sit up  and withdrew from my cradled state. This is so embarrassing. I cover my face. I didn't know if I should cry or not. The oncoming heat is overtaking my body and my heart beat is at a faster rate.

Soon, soft hands touch my wrist. I allow her to remove my hands from my face.

"It's okay, Mary. You were only asleep no more than ten minutes," she looks so homey and down to earth with no makeup. I admire her even more when she looks like this.

"I'm weird" I turn my head. "I'm sorry" I make my way out of my bed.

She pulls me back,"Please. Don't apologize. You did nothing wrong. Forgive me for pushing you—".

"Something is wrong with me," I hold my head. I called her mommy. I let her cradle me like a baby.  I fought hard to avoid this from happening, only to fall into her arms. Yelding to her irresistible, loving nature. I knew this day would come. Yet, too quickly. Why am I so regretful when it comes to her? I easily let myself go with Elaine.

Angeline hushes me,"Oh, my baby. There is nothing wrong with you." She hugs me close. I love the way she hugs me. It is warm and sincere. She kiss me gently on the forehead and it leaves a tingly sensation on it. Is she magic? She looks me in the eyes and says,"Do you know what age regression is Mary?".

I shake my head.

"To describe it...It's when a person mentally reverts back to an age younger than they actually are," she explains.

"Is it bad?" I hold my breath.

"Not at all." She smiles down at me and smoothes my hair out of the way " It's your way of coping with life. It's what makes you different, special. People coping mechanism works differently. My thing is yoga and cooking. It helps me stay grounded and stress free".