Oh Brother

Chapter 63

Josie pov

Trigger warning: Self Harm, suicidal thoughts, love at first sight.

"Please don't do this I'm your mother"

"I never had a mother"

Didi I do the right thing? Killing my own mother. Though I feel free now. The war isn't anyone else other than myself.

How what of daughter am I? The one who willingly took out another person and their own parent without the bat of an eye.

Turmoil and disgust is all I feel.

My brother's already hate me for being in the world after this would they still care for me. Or would I be the curse that keeps ruining their lives.

I walked up to the room, closing the door as I slowly stripped myself of the bloodied clothes. Stepping into the shower, I turn it on feeling the warm water hitting my body I just stood there. Seeing the blood run into the drain for the first time it wasn't mine. 

Guilt? A feeling I was so use to feeling, all I do is ruin the lives of the people around maybe I this is the universes way of showing me that I don't deserve to be apart of the people that walk the lands. Death seems more fitting than life. Definitely seems peaceful.

I don't fear death not that I'd be missed but I fear the after life, reincarnation? Maybe. If i died would I be brought back into a worse life or would I just be miserable for eternity.

Entering self harm
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My thigh was still stinging for the last cuts I made but they weren't enough to make the bad thoughts running through my head go away.

I leaned closer to the shaving equipment as I pulled out the blade, this small sliver metal thing seemed so small yet held so much power.

Bringing down the blade onto my skin as I felt the first hot line the blade made I felt my brain calm down. But it in this moment I felt like I couldn't stop I just made more I couldn't care to count them each one felt better than the last. 

Everything felt quiet, I could finally breathe. I sinked down onto the shower floor watching my own skin be taken by the drain.

I was finally free.

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End of self harm

Jasper only head 3 in one shampoo which just gave me the ick but I used them having no choice you'd think being a millionaire you'd have better skin care products or know the difference between them.

I washed up as best as I could I utterly felt drained. Lathering my skin in Cocobutter lotion at least the scent was pleasing.

Getting dressed into a hoodie tank top and sweats as I walked out of the bathroom I was Minne sitting on the bed with a worried look.

"Oh hey"all she did was look at as I walked closer to the dresser looking for a hair tie my back turned towards her.

"Josie I know I said talk to me when your ready but you're self destructing faster by the day."

"I'm fine Min I just killed my own mother and my ex yes I'm not gonna be okay in one day but I don't regret it" I mean who would be I'll bounce back I always do

"Don't you think maybe you should see someone for that" finally finding it I tied my hair in a messy bun

"So basically admit to murder? I'll just walk into the police station with her body and a confession right after that too." Like a therapist would undo all the damaged that's happened to me

"You know what I mean Jo, you're in the mafia there's a therapists who keep shit unwraps. You haven't had a solid meal in days and you're just always sleep. Have you seen yourself in the mirror you look dead." I felt frustrated by this entire conversation

"Well than at least I'm lively representing how I feel that's for pointing it out" she sighed standing up as she pushed a plate of food she'd hidden behind her back.

Seeing the soft baked bread with avocado and a hash brown something that I'd consider my favourites.

"If you can finish this then I'll drop it for now." She crossed her arms I walked to the bed the fabric of my sweats scratching against my skin i ignored it as I got up to the plate taking a bite of the bread and it was really good. I took a few more bites everything was good until It wasn't.

My stomach churned as I everything I just ate decided to come back up running to the bathroom as I kneeled, hunched over the toilet as I spilled my guts tears pooling in my eyes. And for the first time in a while I cried, sitting on the floor I cried I felt her hand wrapping around me tightly rocking me back and forth.

This would be the last time I break down like this, I felt so weak but in the world I'm in being weak is what gets you killed.

"Everything is going to be okay Jo" she rubbed my back and for a few minutes it felt like it was.

Elliot Pov

We gathered our guns, finally we were able to track down her location. It time to go get our sister back. Though we had to be ask the French for help due to them being our strongest alliance.

Driving the the house that she was supposed to be in armed and ready we saw no guards at all. Was this even the right house. We took the risk either way running into the house guns ready as we broke everything in sight looking for her a short woman stood infront of us. Her eyes locked onto mine as she saw me leading the team. She had absolutely no fear as she walked up to me and slapped me harshly.

"Don't you dare fucking wake her up or I swear I'll make sure none of you walk out of here alive"

I know everyone had the eyes on me waiting for their next move as I told them to put their guns down using my finger.

My heart was beating and for the first time not out of fear or just because it's an organ but because she was the most beautiful women I've ever set my eyes on.

End of chapter thank you for reading
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