I walked into a bright white walled room. The room had picture frames with little happy quotes scattered throughout the walls. You know the typical "the darkest nights make the brightest days" bullshit I couldn't help but chuckle.
In the middle of the room was a big brown desk and sitting behind it was a tall slender man wearing a lab coat. In front of him sat a closed Chromebook computer. In front of the desk sat a chair. I sat down slowly as I had just awoken from my first night's sleep after admission, So as you could imagine I was very groggy.
The cute blonde nurse gave me an Ativan as soon as I woke up. She said something about how it was supposed to help calm my anxiety or some stupid shit like that. It gave me a calming buzz so I couldn't really complain
Good morning" The Dr greeted. I stared at him still very sleepy, Also buzzing even harder now from the drugs given to me that morning. I sat silent as he opened the laptop and began to type.
"Can you tell me your name"" He asked me calmly. He sat calmly as he waited for my response. I looked at him and said nothing
"What is your name sir? The Dr asked again this time much less patient than the last time. Again I said nothing and sat quietly.
"Look sir. I know you're very afraid right now." The Dr began. "But I can't help you if you don't help me" he explained in a friendly voice, as if he were trying to gain my trust.
"Jack" I whispered softly. He smiled. He began typing into his computer. I couldn't really tell what he was typing but it sure was a lot. Once finished The Dr turned his attention to me once more.
"Good... Now Jack;" he began. "Can you tell me your birthday?" The Dr asked calmly. I once again sat quietly saying nothing in response.
I could tell the doc was displeased by this. I could tell by the way he glared at me as he tapped his fingers impatiently.
'come now Jack." The Dr said softly. "I thought we had an understanding. I need you to talk to me" he continued. I continued to stare blankly at him. Suddenly the Docs friendly question turned to a command.
"What is your birthday Jack?" The Dr repeated a much less friendly tone. I decided not to make him anymore mad as this man did hold the key to my freedom. A freedom that I knew I would probably never receive.
"October 1st 1996" I said quietly practically whispering instead of talking." The Dr must have heard it though; since he immediately returned to furiously typing once again.
After the Dr finished typing he stared at Jack again. This time with a concerned look.
"Do you know where you are?" The Dr asked again calm and collected. I sat quietly.
This time I didn't have the answer he wanted. The other questions I damn well knew the answers to, I simply chose to ignore him.
But this question I couldn't really answer. I remembered what I had done prior to being sent here. Hell I could sit here and tell you every macabre detail if you want.. but of course that's what you want That's why your here.. isn't it? But I absolutely could not tell you where I was. Or even how I got here. I only remember the kills. They were so violent, so bloody.. and I remember their screams. Their cries of pain and pleas for mercy. Cries that I ignored as I carried out the wishes of the sick fuck living in the walls of my home.
"No." I said quietly maintaining the same low tone of voice" guess the Ativan was really doing it's job. I was speaking slow and calm as I began to recall the events more and more by the second.
"Your in a safe place!" The Dr began. We are going to make you feel better." He continued as he began typing on the computer again. This time it was very short.
I sat there in silence as he worked. I had no doubt I was in a psychiatric facility of some kind. I knew that I was having my very first intake interview before they would begin to force feed me a variety of medications. None of which would actually fix me.
There is nothing actually wrong with me. I had simply just made the mistake of getting caught when I finally snapped.. when I just couldn't take it anymore.
If I'm being completely honest I was given mercy. I butchered three people in cold blood to appease a sick fuck taking refuge from the walls within our home. And I got 2 years in a state psychiatric facility. I began to remember more of the events. Each one flashing back to me like a movie in my head
The most fucked up part is; That person is still in the walls of my home as we speak. I told the police exactly where he was and still. They only took me. Imagine how pissed I was as I got dragged out of my house while they completely ignored the man hiding in my walls. He was the mastermind after all.. I simply just did as he ordered. What else was I supposed to do??
"Do you know why you are here jack?" The Dr asked still remaining calm despite my rude behavior earlier during the interview. I began to realize what this really was. The Dr wanted to me to confess. To lay it all out for him. I stared at the Doc for a moment before I spoke.
"Yes." I said calmly still almost whispering rather than talking. He smiled at me and began typing again. He then turned his attention back to me once he was finished.
"Why are you here jack?" The Dr asked quietly. I sat silently for a moment. I didn't even want to say the words out loud. After a few seconds I mustered up the courage.
"I killed them.. all of them." I whispered quietly. Tears began dripping from my eyes as I began to recall more and more events from that night. The blood. The screams.. the bodies. I remembered all of it.
The Dr began typing again. It began to annoy me. This guy was regurgitating every single thing I said on what was no doubt some sort of psychiatric evaluation.
A evaluation that I don't even need. I'm a good person I had never hurt anyone until that night. I just couldn't take his fucking voice anymore. His commands, They were haunting me for weeks. The Dr returned his attention back to me after he finished. He shot me a different look this time, a more concerned look.
"Who jack?" The Dr asked maintaining his same calm demeanor he held throughout the evaluation. "Who did you killl?" The doc asked Softly.
The very thought that he already knew the answer but was going to make me say it myself infuriated me. I knew I had no choice, the damage had been done. All I could do now was explain myself.
"My wife... And my daughters." I said calmly. The Dr gave me a surprised look. As if he were in shock I was saying this so calmly. But little did he know I was crying like a baby on the inside. He began typing once more this time quicker than before, as if he was trying to speed this up.
"Why?" The Dr asked quietly.
I knew he wouldn't believe me. The cops sure didn't. I sat silent for a moment. I didn't want to say it. I knew that if I were to tell him the truth he would lock me up here forever. Not that I don't already have a two year stay lined up. I also knew that the silent treatment would most likely land me in the same situation.
"He made me do it" I said coldly. I knew he didn't believe me by the look in his eyes. He looked at me as if I were still covered in my family's blood. Doc began typing again. Once finished he stared at me with an interested look on his face.
"Who jack?" He asked returning to his friendly tone from before. This put me at ease and without a second thought I blurted out the words.
"It was the man inside my walls"
