A+, meanie

Family

Wonwoo

Wonwoo curses himself for being late for his examination yet again. No matter how hard he's always tried to prevent his parents' words from affecting his days, he fails every time. He feels deeply compelled to accomplish something, the only thing, for their sake.

As he's busy putting up his standard smug façade and striding hurriedly to the examination hall with a few last-minute books open in his hand and his extremely precious diary he'd used in the bus while commuting, someone slams into him from the back. All of the things he held in his hands tumble to the floor, as he loses composure for a split second. By the looks of it, the person's stuff has fallen as well, and they quickly gather it to move on with their day.

Wonwoo has this sudden rush of frustration, making him purposely shove the person in the side as he bends down to collect his own stuff. To make his day even worse than it already was, it's Kim fucking Mingyu who bumped into him. Wonwoo growls, quickly picking his books up and leaving as soon as he can. He's surprised by himself, since he chose not to pass a snarky comment towards Mingyu this time.

The exam ended miserably, and Wonwoo exits the examination hall feeling down. He knows everyone has their bad days, but he wonders if all of someone's days could be this depressing. That's how Wonwoo's life has been for the past few years, ever since he lost his older sister to the fucking education system.

He terribly misses Somi, she'd always be the one looking after Wonwoo more like a mother than an older sister. They had quite an age gap, after all. Wonwoo, if he remembers correctly, was seven years younger than her, although he's not quite sure. Despite trying hard to not let it happen, Wonwoo finds himself gradually losing memories of Somi. It's been that long, and even his mind has given up trying to incorporate her in his memories. She was really pretty, and not just on the exterior -- that's something Wonwoo would never forget about her.

Wonwoo lazily walks to his locker, entering his code on the digital number pad to keep a few of his books inside. As he's busy loading his books, he notices something horribly wrong. His diary's fucking missing. It's gone, and Wonwoo doesn't even know where and how it's just disappeared.

Wonwoo panics, his diary's been his best friend after Somi. It has all of his rants, secrets, and a lot of stuff he has no one to speak about to.

He racks his brain, but fails to recall how it went missing during the day. He'd clutched it close to him all the way from the bus till Pledis, so where did it go? Fucking heavens, could life even manage to mock him further?

From the corner of his eye, he notices Mingyu coming out of the same hall he'd been in a few minutes ago. The bastard's smiling like it's his birthday and Christmas on the same day, as he eagerly talks to his newly-made friend Lee Chaeyeon walking next to him. Wonwoo wants to sock him hard in his throat. It's just unfair how everyone other than him, Mingyu especially, seems to be having a good, or at least a normal day. If everyone else deserves such a day, Wonwoo does too. It's infuriating how he never seems to get to experience just a normal fucking day.

To prevent himself from breaking down in front of others present in the hallway, specifically Mingyu, Wonwoo closes his locker with a loud bang, and briskly walks to the washrooms on the floor.

Hurriedly entering one of the cubicles, Wonwoo thanks the heavens the washroom's completely empty right now. Having the habit of playing down everything he feels and does, Wonwoo clamps a palm over his whimpering mouth to muffle his sobs. It's something his body does on autopilot, since he's been mocked and reprimanded for crying or simply feeling things by his parents earlier. He'd never been allowed to cry, or even express anything openly. Nothing other than a happy, or at least a neutral face is expected in front of his parents.

Wonwoo would have scoffed at the thought of his parents, if not for his unending sobs. Ironically, it's completely acceptable when they turn the entire house upside-down with their endless arguments and fights that get very serious most of the times, but when Wonwoo even looks sad, he has to sit through fifteen minutes of either of them, both if it's a horrible day, reminding him that he has it easy, and how so many other students his age don't have the life he does.

"I'd rather not have this life at all." Wonwoo mutters to himself.

∿

Wonwoo, quiet as a mouse, unlocks the house door after a painfully remindful bus ride that his diary's missing. He exhales in relief when he sees the house empty; both his parents must still be at work, or stupid fucking Jeon Jisoo might be drinking his heart out early in the evening on a Thursday. Wonwoo hopes he is, it's the only occasion when his dad has no energy of starting a pointless argument with his mum, right when Wonwoo's about to fall asleep.

It's particularly been this way after Somi's passing. Wonwoo was just too young and dumb to understand anything earlier, but he gets it now -- why his sister would try to steer him away from much interaction with their parents. The way Somi used to sugar-coat it had made it seem so perfectly normal, it was a blow to Wonwoo's mind once he actually found out why she did that. It got worse after Wonwoo was left alone, and since then he'd get dragged into their fights on several occasions.

When he thinks of it this way, Wonwoo's glad he's a university student right now. Under the plausible excuse of having many tasks and assignments to complete, he gets time to himself, but of course, with the white noise of his parents arguing somewhere in the house.

It's always been the Jeons' little broken family, which undergoes terrible attempts of being fixed once more every now and then.

Only when the door gets unlocked again, does Wonwoo realise he's still standing in the living room after removing his shoes. The familiar tapping of his mum's shoes reaches his ears, and his immediate instinct is to rush upstairs to his room and lock the door.

It doesn't seem like his mum - Jeon Hyeri - had even noticed his presence, despite his prominent footsteps as he ran upstairs.

It's always that way; Wonwoo's never paid attention to when he needs it, but it's only when he needs time to cooldown, he's helplessly dragged into matters that have no visible solution.

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Did this lil formatting thing so it shows both sides of the story.