A+, meanie

Devastated

Wonwoo knows he's fucked up. Well, according to his parents he always does, but this time he himself knows he's dug his own grave.

It all started pretty normally; the bus ride went by as usual, with Wonwoo doing his thing with his diary, and then getting off at his stop. He walked home like everyday from the stop, produced the set of keys from his blazer pocket, and unlocked the house. This is when he realises his grave mistake -- not being careful enough.

His diary's still in his hand, quite noticeable with it's vibrant paint-splotched cover, and golden, intricate details on the black-painted spine. It would take a seriously colourblind person to not notice something like it.

Quite unexpectedly, his mum's at the dining table today, again, and Wonwoo almost thinks it's Deja Vu, just her outfit's different from what it was yesterday. She looks up, and Wonwoo gets the strong idea that she's been waiting for him. He ignores her, like most times, toeing his shoes off and placing them on the shoe-stand near the door.

Now, Wonwoo would have made his way upstairs without another argument, only if it weren't for the diary clutched in his hand. "Stop right there, Wonwoo." Hyeri demands.

Wonwoo rolls his eyes before turning back on the stairway to look at his mum. "What?" He spits. When his mum's finger points at the book, and when Wonwoo's eyes follow the path that her finger travelled from across he dining table, he feels like disappearing and never returning. He's fucking holding the diary like a prize, and his mum's noticed it already. Realisation dawns upon him like the weight of the earth being dumped on his head, and Wonwoo remains unmoving on the bottom steps of the stairway.

"I said, get your ass here, Wonwoo." Hyeri speaks, annoyed, which makes Wonwoo think he might not have heard the first time. Not that he could really tell, since his mum never really spoke nicely to anyone in the house. He fearfully walks down, and till the dining table, head hung low as to not meet his mum's gaze, and hopefully protect his diary. "What's that?" She eventually asks.

"It's just a book."

"I can fucking see it is, WHAT BOOK IS IT?!" Hyeri stands up, scraping the chair against the tiles. Wonwoo catches a glimpse of her arm being raised, making him wince before the contact. And then it happens, again. His glasses go askew on his face, and he notices one arm broken away from the frame, about to tip off his ear. Great, he'd have to get them repaired on his own, or use his old pair somewhere deep in his room.

Wonwoo doesn't notice the familiar burn of his mum's calloused palm on his face, over the shock of the diary being pulled from his hand. And she begins to fucking flip through it, all in front of Wonwoo, as the poor boy watches in fear.

He could actually kill himself now. It'd save him a major beating, and the devastating feeling of the remainder of the cherished memories he once shared with Somi being presented to his mum. It never really seemed Somi even mattered to his parents, making Wonwoo recoil on the inside even further. "They've never cared, Wonwoo." A voice tells him.

It's a painful reminder. It fucking hurts. It's his parents his brain refers to as 'they', and Wonwoo couldn't feel any less unimportant, as he sees for himself, yet again, that his own parents don't give a single shit. They're probably just sticking around until Wonwoo's ready to leave.

"Jokes on them, I could do that right now as well."

"I'll wait until your dad gets back home." His mum declares, after she's done making a show of reading each and every one of Wonwoo's deepest feelings. Not even a minute later, the door of the house opens, and his dad steps inside.

Hyeri doesn't even let the man breathe, immediately bombarding him with the newfound information. Needless to say, he goes livid, visibly, and snatches Wonwoo's precious diary from his mum's hands. "Burn it." He says lowly.

Wonwoo doesn't believe his ears. "What?"

"Burn it." Jisoo repeats, loud and clear this time.

Wonwoo swears he catches him mum skip to the kitchen, as she brings out a box of matches. The old man tosses the diary in the fireplace without wasting another second, and Hyeri throws a lit matchstick over it.

"That's it. You'd wish you were an orphan next time you try to hide things from us. I'm warning you already." His dad says, while Wonwoo's miserably looking at his possession go up in flames.

∿

There isn't a single spot on his body that doesn't ache, as Wonwoo lays motionless on his bed that night, assignments and studies long forgotten.

He'd eventually gotten the worst beating of his life after the whole diary fiasco, and Wonwoo almost didn't recognise himself when he went to go and wash his face after his dad got tired. Wonwoo looks ridiculous, it's humiliating to even look in the mirror. His lip's busted, there're several cuts all over his arms and neck, and his face burns from the continuous impact of his dad's palm earlier.

He doesn't think much about it, he's more wrecked about the fact that his diary - the only thing he cared about - isn't there anymore. It's gone, mixed with the firewood ashes in the fireplace downstairs. Wonwoo's so numb, he isn't even able to bring himself to cry.

He feels like running away, just for a while.

And he does, lifting himself off the bed with much difficulty, since his limbs fucking hurt, and grabbing a hoodie to cover his ugly arms. He puts it on, then comes out of his room after checking for any signs of his parents being awake.

The moment he steps outside the door, closing it carefully to not make any noise, Wonwoo feels like he's entered heaven.

But being in heaven, he would've never thought about Somi, neither his diary -- the only two hooks in his life, that had once been his only solace. It's his fucked up fate that snatched both of them from him.