A+, meanie

Attempt

(TW: Suicide)

Mingyu's unsurprised by the awkwardness bubbling between him and Wonwoo the next day. They haven't talked, the only interaction being the confirmation Wonwoo got from him for the usual Calculus.

The class Mingyu's in at the moment is really boring, although there's nothing different the professor does; she goes on with her usual ramble about Administration. This one of the three classes Mingyu doesn't have with Wonwoo, and his mind suddenly thinks about which class Wonwoo would be in right now. Come to think of it, Mingyu has no clue of the boy's subjects, except for the ones they share. He makes a mental note of asking Wonwoo later on what he does at Pledis.

What he'd seen yesterday really disturbed Mingyu. He knows self-harm is a thing, but knowing someone who took it to such lengths came as a big shock to Mingyu. He wonders what might have happened for Wonwoo to do such a thing and then act so nonchalant about it.

Not that Mingyu would pry, and neither would Wonwoo let him. From what he's been able to gather from all encounters he's had with Wonwoo up till now, Mingyu knows one thing for sure: Wonwoo does not like anyone meddling in his business, no matter how serious it might be, and he isn't even open to be helped.

Mingyu knows the type of person he is — quite similar to what Mingyu is himself. Wonwoo's the kind that remains silent as a shadow, and he tries to deal with his problems himself. Even if he ends up breaking on the inside because of it, you wouldn't know until he decides to let you know.

"Mr. Kim! Class is over."

The professor announces from the front of the classroom, as Mingyu snaps out of his headspace and takes a look around himself. Sure enough, the classroom's empty, except for him and the professor - who's readying herself to leave as well. Muttering a quiet 'Sorry', Mingyu bows and exits the room.

He's about to get his stuff from the locker, but then he realises he has to sit with Wonwoo in the library. Initially, this was supposed to be a twice-in-a-week thing, but he finds Wonwoo asking him everyday. Mingyu doesn't mind, it's an excuse for him to not return to his house early.

As he enters the empty library, only his shoes slapping the wooden flooring, he hears low whimpers echoing inside. That's strange, the library's always empty at this time.

When he stops at his usual table, he finds it's Wonwoo who's making the noise, sitting in a chair with his head in his hands. "Hey Wonwoo?"

Wonwoo's head shoots up right away, as he furiously wipes his tears when he realises it's Mingyu who spoke. "Yeah, we could start now."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive." Wonwoo says miserably. Mingyu wants to point out the obvious absence of any will in the boy to study, but he decides against it.

Needless to say, Wonwoo's lost for most of the session, zoning out every two minutes and then being shaken out of his trances by Mingyu. "I think it's enough for the day?" Mingyu says finally.

"It hasn't even been an hour though."

"I just remembered I have some work at my house, Mother might get worried." Good lord, that felt so weird to say, as Mingyu cringes inwardly. His mother was never one to get worried over something so menial as her son.

"Okay."

Mingyu notices a relieved undertone in Wonwoo's voice. Standing up and packing his things, Mingyu exits the library without another word, leaving Wonwoo alone. 

He thinks it's best what he did.

He didn't.

∿

"Mingyu! Oh my gods, have you heard?!"

Chaeyeon shrieks as soon as her eyes land on Mingyu entering the building next morning. The boy, clearly taken aback by Chaeyeon pouncing on him early in the morning, recoils. "What?"

"Jeon Wonwoo!"

"What about him?"

"He tried to you know..." Chaeyeon makes a motion of slicing her hand against her neck. It takes a second for Mingyu to realise.

Oh. OH!

"What the fuck?! What? How did you find out?!"

"It's all over the news. It says it happened yesterday, late afternoon."

Late afternoon. That meant nearly right after Mingyu left the library yesterday. "Where is he?"

"Where else do you think?"

"Hospital..?"

"Bingo."

Mingyu remains silent for a while, trying to process what he'd just heard. Nothing had felt off about Wonwoo in the past days, had it? Not really, Mingyu recalls. Well, everything except the tiny smile he'd seen two days ago. It never occurred to Mingyu that it might have had something to do with Wonwoo's attempt yesterday. Nothing seems to fit properly, it feels too vague.

The again, Mingyu wouldn't know, since he's never dealt with such serious trauma that made him think suicide was the only solution. Wonwoo had looked completely fine up till yesterday when he'd been crying in the library. He'd cried the day before as well, Mingyu couldn't really tell the difference.

For some unknown reason, Mingyu feels he's the one responsible for this news. If he hadn't left Wonwoo alone last afternoon, maybe this wouldn't have happened. Maybe Calculus could have distracted Wonwoo enough to not think of it.

That didn't ensure anything, Mingyu realises. Wonwoo could have attempted sometime else then. 

"-ngyu. Mingyu!"

"Huh?" Mingyu's head snaps towards Chaeyeon.

"Where are you?"

"Right here?"

"What are you thinking about?"

"...Nothing."

"Sure."

Mingyu makes a rash decision just then. "Hey Chaeyeon? Does the news say which hospital's he's at?"

"Who? Jeon Wonwoo?"

"Yeah."

"Oh. Seoul National."

"Okay." And he begins walking the way he entered the building.

"Mingyu?"

"Hm?" He turns briefly.

"Where are you going?"

"Back to the house, I don't feel like it today."

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, just tired."

"Okay, be safe!"

Mingyu flashes a thumbs-up, and leaves. Not to go back as he said, but to visit Jeon Wonwoo at Seoul National.

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