Betrothed (On Hold!)

My Lover, Breaking point

"Are you going to play another song while we wait?" Finnian asks with a hopeful smile. "I can but I'd much rather start on a drawing. Maybe another time?" You say, you had hurt one of your fingers by slamming it in a door earlier, and no impressing song would be had while that ache was there. The servants of Ciel seemed not to care, "Alright!" Bardroy said and puffed on his cigarette. Mey-Rin clapped again and handed me a blank canvas beside the piano. "Thanks. Now. . . What should I draw?" You ask and look down at the canvas.

"A bunny!" Finny yells exitedly, you nod with a giggle at his endless giddy nature. "A bunny it is." You say and begin the drawing, moving the graphite across the paper smoothly. All of the servants eagerly watching over your shoulder.

The details come naturally to you, and you feel like only moments have passed before you're finished. It is a snowy rabbit, standing with its ears prison and looking up at the sky, snow falling around it and a setting sun in the back ground. Small footprints hint that it was moving and had spotted something.

"It looks so real, yes it does!" Mey-Rin gasped in awe. Bardroy nods, giving you a thumbs up to top it off. "Finny, since you like rabbits you can hang it where you sleep." You say and hand it to him. He smiles and holds it gently. "Thanks, miss l/n." He says and you giggle. "Please, just call me f/n. My last name will be Phantomhive once I'm wed anyway. . . F/n Phantomhive. . . Has a nice ring don't you think?" Bardroy nods.

"Also, I'm supposed to be doing a portrait of Ciel, I need a measurement of space in that hallway." You say in thought. All three of the servants look to one another. Bardroy is the one who speaks, "There used to be a picture of Ciel's parents there. We can get the frame for you if ya like?" He asked and scratches his head. You clap, "That's a perfect idea!" You say and hug him. He laughs in superiority. "Just like I always am. I'm the brains 'ere ya know!" You laugh and push away. "We can do that after dinner, how does that sound?" You ask and look back to Finnian, who smiles and nods. Mey-Rin does the same.

At this point Sebastian opens the door and looks around the room, his pretty brown eyes falling on you. "Dinner is ready, Young Madame." He says and bows. "That fast?" Mey-Rin asked with a raised brow. Maybe they do know?

Sebastian nods. "Of course it is. You are talking to one hell of a butler." His eyes turn to the drawing in Finnian's hands. "That looks lovely. I think you will fare well with drawing our young master no doubt. Now then. " he offers you his elbow and you take it with a bright smile. "See you after dinner!" You smile back at the others and wave, and they all happily wave back.

"I hope you are enjoying yourself so far?" Sebastian asked with a raised brow. I shrugged. "Well so far I've made friends with everyone, and you're a demon. It's quite exciting really. When Ciel said he had other secrets though. . ." You shudder at what else he may be hiding. "I promise it's nothing that should worry you. We all have our secrets now don't we?" His words echo in your mind. We all have our secrets now don't we? . . . Did he know what you had done?

"I am curious though, I've seen you practicing odd movements in the hall way in the mornings. What self-defense did you learn?" He asks, making your blood run cold. "It doesn't have a name. . . It's a fighting technique I use that involves pressure points on the human body. If they are hit just right then I could easily kill or injure a full grown man. Though I doubt they would affect you, correct?" I asked with a smile up at him. He chuckled lightly, "Sounds promising. I might request you show me what you know when we both have the time. Even if it may be unlady like." He suggests and you smile. "Sure. But don't expect me to go easy on you." You add and smirk. He shares the expression. "Of course not, my lady."

He opens the dining hall door for you and you take a seat as Grell pus out the chair for you. What's Grell's secret? Maybe he's actually a spy. . . Or good with poisons? You look him over. He seemingly couldnt harm a fly. . . But so did the other servants.

Ciel is already seated when you look back up, and he seems to be scowling as usual. You look down and back to Grell, who has his glasses easily stuck in his hair. Sebastian has to help him now, and you are hiding back mad laughter as they try to hide the struggle.

"So what is your favorite color?" Ciel asks, surprising you and making you meet his hard glare. "Not to sound droll, but black." You say hastily, feeling the urge to cower now. To cower like some submissive dog. . .

"Would you like to play chess with me in the drawing room and eat dessert there too?" He asks and glances to the floor, and you can tell his face is flushed. "Sure." You say just loud enough for him to hear you.

Sebastian finally removes the glasses from Grell's hair and lifts the platter top off of Ciel's plate and Grell does the same for you. "Tonight we have shrimp cocktail with Mara sauce and a ceaser salad and fresh strawberries." Sebastian says and steps back. "No achohal of course." Grell adds with a chuckle. You roll your eyes at him, and whisper. "Grell you make me laugh too much." He smiles at you, and there is a spark in his eyes.

You start to eat while Ciel and Sebastian glare at each other and Grell. "The party will be grand. Many people will be invited to welce you to your new home. I personally would like to choose your dress." He says and glares at Grell again. Besides that his tone was nonchalant and he didn't meet your eyes. "Thats fine and all but you're going through a lot of trouble just to welcome me." You say with a raised brow.

I could tell Ciel was hiding something now, his hand tapped the table as he ate. "What do you mean?" He asked coolly, but nervousness hinted in his voice even of it was only a bit.

"Your work, you wouldn't just stop work to throw a party for me when you've hardly even spoken a paragraph to me since my arrival. I'm guessing you're going to talk business with some important men?" You ask calmly. Ciel sighs, as if he's lost some game. "Several important people we suspect of treason will be here no doubt, " he now met your eyes, "I am sorry, but this party is for you. All the guests will be welcoming you." He continued, and you nod with your own sigh, taking several moments before you thought it over. "Forgiven. . ."

I'm being used for his work. That or I'm in the way, first that strange store he went to on our outing. . . Then he used me to ensure he was kidnapped to solve a case, and now he is using me for an excuse to throw a party. . . Is this all your life would be? A man not even pretending to like you, and being used or in the way? Now you were forcing back tears and stood up.

"Madame l/n. . . F/n are you feeling well?" Ciel asks horribly, standing up from the table sharply, giving you a worried look. You nod and look down at your empty plate. "Thansks for the food. . . But I'm going for a walk." With that you quickly leave the room, and after hearing footsteps behind you begin to give chase, you run like their is no tomorrow, heading straight for the doors. It was probably Grell anyway, and knowing his clumsy nature he would be easy to evade.

With that knowlage I jumped over bushes and pots, making an obstical course and headed straight for the stables and locking myself in, sliding down the door and only then letting my tears show.

This was quiet, and it was calm. Even the horses only made the sound of breathing and their tails swishing. Is this my life? Betrothed to a man.who won't love me? He wasn't even going to try to. Of course you weren't expecting love at first sight, but you were working on learning to love him while he just did his work. . .

"Miss l/n, are you alright? What are you doin' in here and why are you cryin'?" A cheerful voice asked worriedly.