The Fence

Chapter 80: Shock

When I was shot, I thought that was the end for me. Nixon had made me care for him, along with Grey and maybe even Val. He latched on to my feelings, and then betrayed me. I didn't know that what came next would hurt more than that. I didn't think I had a chance, I was ready to go. But the end wasn't the end, and Donte managed to dig the bullet out of my body and save my life. Merida will never have that chance.

At Caste 2 Academy, they offered a course on Biology and human health. Ky, without asking me, signed us up for the course. The one thing I do remember about that class was a unit was on what happens when someone gets shot. One shot, a random shot, had lodged itself right in between her eyes, killing her brain instantly. The bullet broke through her skull faster than someone can blink, copper stronger than bone. It shredded through her brain tissue and her shock absorber was split in two. When the bullet passed through her brain and out the other side of her head, the brain's ability to send messages to her other organs in the body was completely severed. Her ability to process information and solve problems was dissolved right when the bullet swept through her prefrontal cortex. Her memories were shot when it hit her hippocampus. When the bullet tore through those glands, her tissues snapped into the initial opening and went passed their original place. The shock wracked through her body, like a spring being pulled and bounced back into place. It all happened in an instant.

The side of my face is planted against cold dirt, making its way up my nose as I try to breathe. Her angelic, pale, face is now soaked with her blood, running down from the crater in her head. I take a fistful of dirt, trying to pull myself forward; towards her. I know she's not alive, I know that. Raven cradles her limp body in his arm, tears streaming down his face. 'I'm sorry, I'm sorry', he's saying. I can't hear him because I can't hear anything.

Strong arms lift me from my spot on the ground. It's my brother, his hands still warm from his previously ignited palms. I feel them on my face, wiping away my silent tears. 'Bena, can you hear me?', he mouths. I shake my head, because I can't.

'I'm going to kill him', Ky says, and I feel his aura turn red with fury.

He brings me into his embrace, where I momentarily sink into his warmth. I dare to think that we're safe; that nothing else will happen to use because Holt's gone. But I know that he's not gone. He'll be back. How did he put it? 'See you later, I guess', he had murmured. I still feel his chin on my shoulder, his breath huffing onto my face. A shudder springs through my body, and I push Ky away. "You will," I whisper, my voice hoarse.

I pull at my ears, trying to focus my hearing on something, anything. This isn't the first time that this has happened. Usually it comes back after a minute, but it's still gone. A dull ringing is all that I hear, if that. Maybe I'm making it up.

Slowly, unsteadily, I stumble towards my lifeless squad member. I need to say goodbye. I need to thank her for being my friend. Tell her that I'll miss her; always think of her. I won't let her down again, I won't let the same thing happen to anyone else.

"Mer," I croak, unable to hear my own voice. "I-I'm..." I feel like I'm choking, like my stomach is swallowing me. It hurts, so bad that I can't speak. My lip trembles, my breathing erratic, and I break down.

Sobs fly from my body, draining me from the inside out. I'm almost glad that I can't hear the disgusting sound of my own tears.

"Go back," I say, before I realize it.

Raven's puffy eyes gaze down at me, his crying ceasing. He takes a gentle hand and drags them lightly over her open eyes, closing them.

"Go back," I repeat, forgetting that everyone else around me could still hear.