I started to pack my bags. This was it, the last straw. I didn't sign up for this shit. I came here to learn and all that I had felt since being here was sadness and pain. Two things I had experienced in the past but never to this extent.
"You can't leave." Demi was attempting to wrap herself around me.
I gripped her wrists and forced them off me. "Stop."
"You."
"I'm not doing anything, Demetria." I replied sharply.
"You're leaving me." She whimpered.
I sighed. "You left me a long time ago."
She looked puzzled and furrowed her eyebrows. "No. I'm still here."
I guess she didn't understand what I meant.
"The girl I fell for isn't." I stated rather rudely.
"I'm sorry. I'll change. I'll be happier. I'll stop hurting myself. Please, Sel. I'll smile all the time. I'll never be sad."
"It's not about you being sad, Dee." I spoke softly. "It's about you not getting better."
Tears started falling from her eyes, fast. "I'll get better. I will. Please. I promise you. I will, Sel. I really will."
"You said that last time."
"Just give me one more chance." She pleaded holding up her finger.
I sighed and stared her in the eyes. Could I say no to her? Absolutely not. Was I going to give her another chance? Definitely. I had never given up on anything in my life, or anyone and I wasn't going to start now. No matter how much pain I felt and tears I cried, I'd always run back to her. She was my safety and the only person to make me feel comfortable. And even though she was a fuck up, she was my fuck up.
"Okay." I bit my lip. "One more."
She leaned in to kiss me and I turned my head so her lips hit my cheek. She pulled back and gave me a questioning look.
"There's still a lot of work to do." I stated. "It'll take some time before we can be as we were. But I believe in you, and I believe in us." I grabbed her hand. "I love you." I smiled.
She smiled back and wiped her tears.
"Please don't make me regret this, Dee."
"Never."
~
I skipped class that day once again. I was emotionally exhausted. I needed rest. I fell asleep and woke up a long time after due to a loud bang. I glanced at my phone and the time read 2:10am. Had I really slept for that long?
I heard gagging and knew straight away it was Demi. I followed the disturbing noise and ended up in the bathroom. She was hunched over the toilet bowl, her head in it. I was once again, assaulted by her oh so familiar scent. It was right in that moment I decided to give up on her. I couldn't do this anymore.
"I'm absofuckinglutely done Demetria." I stated.
She groaned in response.
I still hadn't unpacked what I originally packed, so I grabbed my stuff and headed straight for the airport. I didn't know where I was going but I booked a ticket on the next plane which would be boarding in 2 hours.
I sat myself on the plastic chairs and pulled a book out to read. After an hour of sitting there, I became irritable so I decided to go for a walk.
I turned a corner and that's when I saw her. Tears were streaming down her face. She looked frantic. I hid behind the corner, poking my head out slightly to watch her. I didn't want her to see me because I knew she'd ask me to come back, and I simply couldn't say no to her.
I studied her face cautiously. She looked broken and it pained my heart immensely. She fell to the ground as sobs wracked her body and before my mind could think, my feet led me to her. I sat beside her and wrapped her in my arms. She knew it was me, I guess she knew the way I felt. She continued to sob and I just held her. That's all she needed.
After her sobs subsided, she looked at me, her chocolate brown eyes now red and puffy, her lips swollen and quivering. "Please don't leave me."
"Give me one good fucking reason I shouldn't." I spat.
"Because I love you." She stated genuinely.
"Why do you love me Demetria? Why the fuck do you love me?" People were now staring. I had raised my voice a bit too loud. We were still sitting on the floor. Demi sat there in silence.
"That's what I thought." I hissed before I got up and started walking away.
"I love you because." I heard her yell.
I turned around to see even more people staring at us but I didn't care.
I stared at her and waited for her to continue.
"I love you because you make me happy." She yelled. "And I don't mean happy as in just laughing and smiling, I mean happy as in you make me feel like I could take on anything that the universe throws at me." She started to slowly walk towards me. "You make me feel invincible. I couldn't imagine a world without you in it. You make everything better. You make me want to go on stupid dates and buy you stupid flowers and hold your hand and watch stupid love movies while cuddling you under a blanket and you make me want to travel the world with you and look at your face light up when you see something that takes your breath away." She was still walking toward me and by now a whole crowd had gathered but I couldn't see them. They were all a blur. The only clear thing to me at that moment was her. "You make me want to take walks through the snow in New York at 1am and go for dinner in restaurants with food I've never tried and foods I probably won't like. You make me wanna have breakfast at 7pm and dinner at 3am and get an apartment in a high rise and spend every moment loving you and complimenting you and making you feel so fucking loved because that's what you deserve." She grabbed my hands in her, tightly. "You make me want to conquer every bad thing and everything that goes wrong and you make me want to fuck you senseless." I heard giggles from the people around us and my cheeks became red. "You just make me feel like every single broken thing in my life will fall back into place, where it's meant to be." She finished.
By now, tears were streaming down my face, and hers. I broke eye contact and looked around us. I started to feel nervous. So many eyes were on us, awaiting my reaction.
The fact here was that I loved her. I didn't want to be without her, I couldn't be, so I did the only thing I could as I knew the right words wouldn't come out of my mouth, I kissed her. I kissed her roughly. I grabbed the back of her head and slammed her lips against mine so hard that her lip busted. And I held on so tight I swore I almost broke her.
We pulled back and I stared in her eyes. "Don't you ever fucking hurt me again."
"Never." She slammed out lips together once more.
I heard people cheering around us but they had no idea. This wasn't some fairytale romance. This was all fucked up and it was only going to get worse.
