Dedicated to aliP3214 , you know why, Nena ❤️
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Months flew by and little did I know that Demi and I were coming to an end. I wish I knew because I wouldn't have fought with her so much. It wasn't so much that I was fighting with her, I was fighting for her, yet she was fighting to leave me in this fucked up world without her. She didn't want to be here anymore because life was too cruel and she couldn't cope. Call me selfish, but I didn't want her to leave because I couldn't cope without her. How ironic it was, not letting her go because I couldn't cope without her and making her stay even though she couldn't cope with life.
I took every single blow that she threw at me. It was better than losing her. God, I never wanted to lose her. I'd take anything she threw at me if it meant at the end of the day, I was the one holding her and making love to her. She was all I wanted, all I needed and I could have sworn that without her, the world would stop spinning and my lungs would collapse. I was almost certain that's what would happen. I wouldn't physically be able to breathe without her.
Nothing in the world would prepare me for the amount of pain I was going to eventually experience and nothing in the world would ever take that pain away. If a broken heart could kill you, I would be with her.
"I'm just so fucking sick of it, Sel. I'm fucking done. I can't do it anymore." She cried while running her hands through her soft hair.
"Stop." I cried back.
It was killing me to hear her talking like that. The thought of being without her made me want to throw myself off a cliff.
"You don't understand!" She screamed.
I whispered back. "I know." My voice started to shake. "I'll never understand, Dee. But I try. And I will continue trying. I will never understand what's going on in your mind, no, but I will spend every second that's left of my life trying to understand to the best that I can. Do you know why I would do that? Do you?"
She looked at me with tears rolling down her cherub cheeks. "Because you love me?"
"No." I whispered. "I more than love you. There isn't a word that could even describe it. I am hopelessly in love with you and sometimes it's drives me insane. It really does. I could go insane with the amount of love I have for you. In fact, I think I already have." I let out a breath.
She walked up to me and cupped my cheeks before gently pressing her soft lips against mine. I could taste the salt from both of our tears as she pulled away.
"Why are you so afraid to be alone?" She asked.
"I'm not afraid of being alone." I told her honestly. "I'm afraid of not being with you."
"I'm afraid of ever being without you."
I bit my lip. "Then don't leave. Ever. Please."
She shook her head. "Don't make me promise you that."
"You already made that fucking promise, Dee. Don't you dare break it or you'll break my heart."
"Stop." She pleaded.
"YOU stop." I emphasised the word 'you'.
"I'll try and make it, but if I can't, I really am sorry."
I nodded my head. I had no words to say. My mind was racing too fast and my heart was beating so hard I was sure it would break my ribs.
-
Look at the stars,
Look how they shine for you,
And everything you do,
Yeah, they were all yellow.
I came along,
I wrote a song for you,
And all the things you do,
And it was called "Yellow".
So then I took my turn,
Oh what a thing to have done,
And it was all yellow.
Your skin,
Oh yeah your skin and bones,
Turn into
Something beautiful,
Do you know,
You know I love you so,
You know I love you so.
I swam across,
I jumped across for you,
Oh what a thing to do.
'Cause you were all yellow,
I drew a line,
I drew a line for you,
Oh what a thing to do,
And it was all yellow.
I watched as she laid there, strumming on her guitar. Her angelic voice filling my ears. It was somewhat soothing.
Your skin,
Oh yeah your skin and bones,
Turn into
Something beautiful,
Do you know,
For you I'd bleed myself dry,
For you I'd bleed myself dry.
It's true,
Look how they shine for you,
Look how they shine for you,
Look how they shine for,
Look how they shine for you,
Look how they shine for you,
Look how they shine.
Look at the stars,
Look how they shine for you,
And all the things that you do.
"That was beautiful." I spoke up.
"I-I-I didn't know you were there." She was startled.
I gave her a soft smile. "Did you write that?"
She breathed out. "Yeah."
I sat at the end of the bed as she still laid down, strumming random tunes. "Can I guess what the song was called?"
She raised her eyebrow as if to tell me to go for it.
"Yellow." I replied and we both burst out in laughter. "Obviously."
"Yellow." She repeated.
The way she said that word, made her sound like a child again. I saw a hint of hope in her eyes. I always hated the colour yellow, until I saw how much she loved it.
"Who's it about? I think I'm gonna have to knock them out." I giggled.
"Oh, you know." She flipped her hair. "One of my side bitches."
My mouth fell open and she started laughing her heart out. God, she was beautiful when she laughed. I'd never seen anything like it.
"Shut your mouth, you'll catch flies." She spoke as she used two fingers to close my jaw.
She pecked my lips quickly and looked deep into my eyes, it was sending shivers down my spine. "You."
"Fuck, I love you so much." I replied.
I grabbed her guitar and put it on the floor before hurrying back on top of her. I pushed her roughly and she fell into her bed. "Jesus, Sel."
"And I'm gonna show you how much I love you." I husked before digging my nails into her back causing her to let out a moan.
"Please do." She smirked.
And I did.
